The first time I got e running was a magical moment. I'd sit there in awe at the responsiveness, and I'd wait for the just the "right" moment to sneak up on xeyes and catch it slipping but it always found my cursor... It sounds dumb now that I type it out, in retrospect.
Don't be so hard on yourself, we all have interesting misunderstandings about new tech.
Back in the day, late 96 I think with Slackware: I had been using the SunOS and Solaris boxes at work, and a senior engineer told me I should check out Linux, it's Unix on a PC! So, armed with a setup CD, I got it installed and started using it. I thought, this is a very new user unfriendly system, each time I make a mistake, it says it wants to hit me!
bash: syntax error near unexpected token...
I thought "bash" was the system insulting and mock threatening me for messing up. :D
