I’m not super familiar with Zizek so I don’t know if he addresses this elsewhere, but this feels like a false dichotomy to me.

You could easily find a middle ground (call it “Confucian freedom”) where you aren’t expected to want to visit grandma, but you are expected to want to do your familial duty. This is a more general and socially-useful “want” that has been at the core of Western (“honor thy parents”) and Eastern (xiào, or “filial piety”) social organization for millennia.

I don’t think it’s “authoritarian” to teach deontological ethics that have a several-thousand-year track record of holding civil society together.