Great piece, very much sharing something very painful from the heart.
Potentially off-topic but I have to say, some of the comments on the actual blog post are horrendous. particularly:-
"You sound like just a weak person."
"You should try farming some time. What you described is what a farmer would think of as 'retirement'"
I've found that sort of nastiness (totally invalid nastiness to boot) extremely distressing. These commenters are fucking idiots who have no idea what they're talking about, passing on their own frustrations to others.
Sometimes I feel like no longer doing anything on the public internet knowing that kind of person lurks out there. Seems to be particularly bad in our profession.
It actually makes me feel like I don't want to admit to my own weaknesses, nor risk making mistakes which might make me look stupid in case the internet tough guy bullies get involved.
I've been on Reddit a long time. I'm kind of desensitized to harsh and abusive comments.
On the other hand, the comments might be honest. To someone who havent experienced or heard about burnout, it is the expected reaction (minus the resent).
"You sound like just a weak person."
Well, yes. That was the point of my post. The pressure was more than I could handle, and I got sick from it.
"You should try farming some time. What you described is what a farmer would think of as 'retirement'"
I know farming means lots of hard work and little free time. My grandfather was a milk farmer, and could hardly ever get away from home. The cows needs milking every day of the week, early in the morning.
They also are under a lot of stress from events out of their control. Particularly the weather.
The greatest difference might be that farming is not necessarily a very creative field (pun intended). Most of the tasks are rather mindless, while a programmer simply can't produce if the min is not clear.
Those comments reminded me of an episode in The Soul of a New Machine. An engineering manager went on a sailing trip in a thunderstorm. His companions were flabbergasted that he was relaxed and happy. They couldn't imagine what kind of job he had that sailing into a storm was a relief.
Potentially off-topic but I have to say, some of the comments on the actual blog post are horrendous. particularly:-
"You sound like just a weak person."
"You should try farming some time. What you described is what a farmer would think of as 'retirement'"
I've found that sort of nastiness (totally invalid nastiness to boot) extremely distressing. These commenters are fucking idiots who have no idea what they're talking about, passing on their own frustrations to others.
Sometimes I feel like no longer doing anything on the public internet knowing that kind of person lurks out there. Seems to be particularly bad in our profession.
It actually makes me feel like I don't want to admit to my own weaknesses, nor risk making mistakes which might make me look stupid in case the internet tough guy bullies get involved.
/rant