When I was little, my mother tried to teach me how to tie my shoelaces, but she
had shown me a method I did not understand and did not like, so I invented my
own way. I was proud of it for 20 years or so. A friend I trusted more than
anyone, tried to tell me in a kind way, that many people tie their shoelaces in
a bad knot. When one knows, it's easy to see even from a glance and such a
knots gets untied, but I wouldn't listen. Thought of not knowing how to tie
shoelaces seemed absurd.
I was the only one I know that would stop randomly to re-tie his shoelaces,
occasionally with people piling up behind me. It may be considered
incontrovertible evidence in truth, yet at the time, it didn't bare much
relevance to me. It was obvious that bad shoelaces were always at fault, or I
didn't apply enough force. In my mind it would be too humiliating to even
consider bad technique a possibility.
It wasn't until I had the grace to look at a knot-tying website alone, try it,
accept I was tying a granny knot, learn how to tie a standard knot, in a
recommended fast way, then proceed to one-up it in my own point of view. I
didn't get much humbler, but at 23 years old, at least I knew how to tie my
shoelaces and they didn't get untied anymore.
If it wasn't for the love of the one who had grace and has given up his grace
so we would have his grace, acting through those who follow him, Himself and
His Spirit, I would not have seen and felt the loving self-sacrifice, which
paled my self-righteousness in an humbling and emotionally painful experience
of the pain I've caused, setting me off in a search to do better, so that after
nearly a decade I would once and then many times again in humility accept what
I cannot deny, that Lord is better than anything I could imagine and Jesus
Christ is our (our = all those who accept Him) Lord and Savior.
This is enough evidence (for me, for others it's just word of mouth) to love
and worship Jesus. I've seen much more, and for that I accept what is written.
It seems I may understand and see more than many, yet still, easily and often,
I forget what I know, ignore and blank my mind, to doubt and void the
uncomfortable. Only hours ago I've yet again given in to what I know to be
bad, to lull and dull the mind, close my eyes and ears so I would not see what
I had a longing to avoid.
I write this as an admission and hoping it will be useful to someone.
To perhaps understand, that one cannot just see and one cannot just be
explained, if it affects him dearly and he does not wish to know.
Speaking of others, but showing the principle:
“Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.
In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
...<<specific judgement of specific people>>...
Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’...”
When I was little, my mother tried to teach me how to tie my shoelaces, but she had shown me a method I did not understand and did not like, so I invented my own way. I was proud of it for 20 years or so. A friend I trusted more than anyone, tried to tell me in a kind way, that many people tie their shoelaces in a bad knot. When one knows, it's easy to see even from a glance and such a knots gets untied, but I wouldn't listen. Thought of not knowing how to tie shoelaces seemed absurd.
I was the only one I know that would stop randomly to re-tie his shoelaces, occasionally with people piling up behind me. It may be considered incontrovertible evidence in truth, yet at the time, it didn't bare much relevance to me. It was obvious that bad shoelaces were always at fault, or I didn't apply enough force. In my mind it would be too humiliating to even consider bad technique a possibility.
It wasn't until I had the grace to look at a knot-tying website alone, try it, accept I was tying a granny knot, learn how to tie a standard knot, in a recommended fast way, then proceed to one-up it in my own point of view. I didn't get much humbler, but at 23 years old, at least I knew how to tie my shoelaces and they didn't get untied anymore.
If it wasn't for the love of the one who had grace and has given up his grace so we would have his grace, acting through those who follow him, Himself and His Spirit, I would not have seen and felt the loving self-sacrifice, which paled my self-righteousness in an humbling and emotionally painful experience of the pain I've caused, setting me off in a search to do better, so that after nearly a decade I would once and then many times again in humility accept what I cannot deny, that Lord is better than anything I could imagine and Jesus Christ is our (our = all those who accept Him) Lord and Savior.
This is enough evidence (for me, for others it's just word of mouth) to love and worship Jesus. I've seen much more, and for that I accept what is written. It seems I may understand and see more than many, yet still, easily and often, I forget what I know, ignore and blank my mind, to doubt and void the uncomfortable. Only hours ago I've yet again given in to what I know to be bad, to lull and dull the mind, close my eyes and ears so I would not see what I had a longing to avoid.
I write this as an admission and hoping it will be useful to someone. To perhaps understand, that one cannot just see and one cannot just be explained, if it affects him dearly and he does not wish to know.
Speaking of others, but showing the principle:
“Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: ‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. ...<<specific judgement of specific people>>... Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’...”
Matthew 13:13-15