I have a feeling the BSDs could be the answer to that, but I think at this moment what makes me reluctant to migrate is hardware support (could be mitigated by buying specific hardware but I prefer to use what I already have) and virtualization (evolving but not as great as KVM). It is mainly the amount of packages available on Debian-like distros and the slow update cycle that makes me stick to them.
I tried to use OpenBSD for a while at home, and it mostly worked out, but making my VPN work with it looked so complicated that I went back to Debian.
I wonder if AI and a future GPT-5 with a much longer context window can fix this. I made a complex Tailscale/VPN/Docker config last month with GPT-4 that would have required either a highly competent/expensive sys. admin; or 2 months of reading/researching.
I tried to use OpenBSD for a while at home, and it mostly worked out, but making my VPN work with it looked so complicated that I went back to Debian.