It's hard for me to understand that as I've experienced the opposite. A long drawn out process of terrifying deconstruction happened to my mother as her cancer slowly took every faculty that made her human, but didn't let her die for months. Us guys all did the best we could for her, and i contributed the most despite being the youngest. But the experience has simply shattered us. Life changes a lot when you realize you are wishing, with very good reason, for your loving caring mother to die. We all did, even her. It was a year of impossible torture. I got a little closure, but it took her speech months before she died so even that could never really be wrapped up.
I'm not saying my experience is the matter of fact worst. But that it can go both ways, i literally cannot imagine thinking i could've done anything to save her. But giving more than you have for a year just to witness inhuman terrors beyond your comprehension is no walk in the park.
I'm sure there's a way to die well, i think we as a society should all be trying better to find such a means and make it available if desired. Especially since we now have the means to create living hells in the name of rote survival.
That sounds awful. I’m sorry. I hope you and your family is doing better today.
I realize now that perhaps these are two different kinds of suffering. For the kids of the dad who died suddenly, they had to take it all in right then, in a matter of moments. They couldn’t say goodbye, or be held hand during the time leading up to it.
But they could all remember him exactly as he were. Healthy, strong, caring, responsible. If they’d been forced to see him erode and weaken slowly, I’m not sure how they’d take it.
> I'm sure there's a way to die well, i think we as a society should all be trying better to find such a means and make it available if desired.
Absolutely. The details may be complex, but the ethical foundation is crystal clear, to me: we own our lives, including the right to end it.
I'm not saying my experience is the matter of fact worst. But that it can go both ways, i literally cannot imagine thinking i could've done anything to save her. But giving more than you have for a year just to witness inhuman terrors beyond your comprehension is no walk in the park.
I'm sure there's a way to die well, i think we as a society should all be trying better to find such a means and make it available if desired. Especially since we now have the means to create living hells in the name of rote survival.