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Kelly Rowland couldn't have used the =HYPERLINK() function to message Nelly (jgc.org)
869 points by thepbone on July 11, 2023 | hide | past | favorite | 322 comments



My favorite was the time that someone asked Kelly [1] about why she was using Excel and not the messaging app on that product-placement phone and she was like "I have no idea what you are talking about or why this is a meme." And then the Microsoft Excel Twitter account, the only good Twitter account, responded with grace [2].

[1]: https://twitter.com/MichaelBaggs/status/1099957857901002752 [2]: https://twitter.com/msexcel/status/1100162136888827904



You can also use the Privacy Redirect [0] extension (among many others) to automatically redirect twitter/reddit/other links to nitter/teddit.

I self-host nitter/teddit instances, and it's a _fantastic_ combo!

[0]: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/privacy-redirect/p...


Oh nitter works again? Nice


Yup, discussed 2 days ago here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36665406


This kind of taking pride in ignorance just infuriates me to no end. Merely being ignorant of something is fine, as we're all ignorant of most things, but being proud of it just makes you stupid. Why do we put people like this on TV? </rant>


It's infuriating to see such a stupid take bubbled up to the top replies to the top comment on this post.

Why would a singer know what Microsoft Excel is? And how exactly is her response even "pride[ful]" ignorance? She just said she doesn't know what it is and therefore doesn't care about the memes. Which part here is pride in her ignorance of software mostly used in the accounting profession?

I'm not going to say she's a genius, but it's grounded for a person to acknowledge when they don't know what something is and don't give a shit. This thing was an afterthought to a music video for a song she was in. The video is tangential to her actual work. Why should she care? If you're going to call her ignorant and stupid for it, you should be able to explain why she should care about Microsoft Excel specifically when it's presented to her in a flurry of internet memes.

Also, why is she on TV? Because she's the second most famous person who was in Destiny's Child, behind Beyonce. Is TV only supposed to show people of high intelligence? Are "stupid" people actually subhumans who should not be represented on television, the bastion of idiots? Are stupid people actually morally bad and smart people are morally good? I'm so confused about all the things your worldview could imply. It's nonsense.


I don't think that the commenter expected her to know Excel, but the tone of her response especially where she started saying "I don't care" can be reasonably interpreted as dismissive and defensive to the point of being proud, which is really odd because it's not like people are blaming her for the production crew's mistake?

Not knowing computers at this day and age (or whenever that video was shot which seems recent) is not a cool thing to celebrate, because the most basic computer skills are now as important as knowing how to drive. But I really think that more than a criticism of her intelligence, people really are criticizing her character. She could have handled this more gracefully by laughing it off, because it is laughable.


I'll argue that, in 2023, the most basic 'computer' skills are knowing how to:

* buy a smartphone (okay, not even a skill)

* connect to the internet

* visit a website

* install an app

* use basic apps, e.g. read/send email, read/send text messages, view/take photos

That's it. And none of this is necessary for survival, nor to even be what I'd call a well-rounded person. They're just modern conveniences. Things beyond this are trainable. People get bonus points for knowing how to use 2FA or spot phishing attempts or other scams, but I view this is going beyond the purview of basic computer skills into basic cybersecurity.

So I don't see not knowing what Excel is as equivalent to not 'knowing computers.' But you know what, why do you get to choose what is a 'cool thing' to celebrate? If someone chooses to be computer illiterate and celebrates it, why is that a problem? My wife doesn't know how to drive. Guess what, she'll never murder someone with a car. Kudos to her.


Excel is a ubiquitous tool with many applications for life in the information age so don’t even take this out of context and argue about life situations in the Stone Age.

If you’ve ever tried managing your own finances in a seriously methodical manner, for example, and you should, then using Excel or alternative spreadsheet software simply would be inevitable. Are you saying that managing your own finances is not an important life skill, let alone a chore? Should anyone be proud at all that they don’t? Heck, she has achieved some success as an artist so she must have money to manage and understand. Even rich people who have businesses to run must deal with Excel on a regular basis, because not doing so is gross neglect and can have serious consequences, both financially and legally.

I don’t understand why you’re so hellbent on defending ignorance, to be honest. If you’re not aware, you should know that you went a really long way to defend not knowing Excel, to think that for Kelly Rowland herself, I only criticised her tone.


How can you be so blind to the worldview of people outside your bubble and be so proud of it ?

Exactly yesterday,I was helping a friend at the end of a workshop on accounting for entrepreneurs in social sectors.

To wrap up the two days class, he asked them what they had learned.

To my surprise a good number of them said they had learned making a simple formula in excel cells. ( white , 20-something , males, just in case you were wondering ).

There is a big world out there full of normal people that don't have the faintest idea about things you consider basic skills.


I love spreadsheets, and I use them all the time, even in my personal life. Not once did I state that Excel sucks, is unimportant and shitty software, that no one should know it, or that people should have poor financial habits. I am not "defending ignorance." I have literally taken university-level accounting courses out of personal interest, despite not being an accountant by profession. (Although, I tend to use Google Sheets more because it's free and still functions well.)

What I am defending is someone saying that they don't know what Microsoft Excel is and don't care and having other people refer to that as prideful ignorance.


Excel isn't a ubiquitous tool outside of your world buddy. Any rich person isn't worried about their finances most of that stuff is delegated to a financial advisor so I don't know what you're talking about.


> because the most basic computer skills are now as important as knowing how to drive.

This is the best comparison used because like knowing how to drive not everyone needs to know basic computer skills, so thanks for backing up OP and Kelly. o7


It would only be a good comparison if 90 percent of jobs in the US required you to drive as part of the job.


To be honest, “I don’t care” seems to be the most reasonable/sensible thing anyone said in this situation so far.


> the tone of her response especially where she started saying "I don't care" can be reasonably interpreted as dismissive and defensive to the point of being proud

I interpret the "I don't care" as "that's pedantic" and "I have more important things to focus on".


I don't care about Kelly Rowland Excel memes either. Good reason to lash out at someone you don't know?


> because the most basic computer skills are now as important as knowing how to drive

Maybe not knowing how to *drive*, lots of people don't need to know that, but it's kind of up there with knowing how to read.


This is a perfectly valid take. Calling it stupid doesn't make yours any more valid.


> Why would a singer know what Microsoft Excel is

To make sure they don't get ripped off by their producer/label


If a music producer starts showing you Excel spreadsheets you need to fire their ass


You know that most musicians didn't start off as professional musicians, right?

I can't imagine there's anyone who lives in a sufficiently technologically-literate world that they know how to use a mobile phone, and despite this has never heard of the second most commonly used bit of software in the workplace.


Worth noting that while most musicians don’t “start off” as professional musicians, Rowland entered the game back in the 90s and was basically just a kid when destiny’s child was formed. Leaves little time to learn anything else besides the ins and outs of the industry I’d think.


> Leaves little time to learn anything else besides the ins and outs of the industry I’d think.

Yeah, in the music industry it's not like you ever have to deal with massive lists of numbers.


I'm not sure this taking pride in ignorance. It just seems like she has other things that occupy her time and thoughts.

Imagine if someone asked Linus Torvalds about the stitching pattern used on a shirt he wore in while giving a talk 10 years ago? If he said "I had no idea what you're talking about?" would that be taking pride in ignorance too?


What if the pattern had some significance in some culture?

Anyway, something of that caliber actually happened. Torvalds addressed wearing socks and sandals in some interviews as him being not that into fashion.

https://techcrunch.com/2012/04/19/an-interview-with-milleniu...


Alternatively, it’s like the time some Star Trek fans asked William Shatner what the safe combination was on an episode of the show


I'm pretty sure that was a spoof. But still :-D


Yeah that's the joke


You guys find arguments and proof for everything. I love it.


>What if the pattern had some significance in some culture?

Could you clarify this, because I can't tell if you're being woke, the questioner is asking because of the significance, torvalds is assumed to know or what.


I don't think that's entirely fair. I was once dismissive of stuff other people got deep into, things like horoscopes, or fashion, or sport. They wereen't relevant to my life. But as I've grown I realised how much this limited me, meant I was essentially choosing to dismiss those people and the things they liked as unimportant, indirectly insulting their intelligence.

I consider it to have been a character flaw of mine, and I have tried to work on it. It's not and never will be cool to take pride in not liking something other people like. They like it for a reason, and it turns out if you just shut up and listen enough you will probably start seeing the intricacies and come to like or at least appreciate it too.


No one has to like everything or try everything but everyone should be humble, gracious and kind when they admit that fact about themselves.


> Imagine if someone asked Linus Torvalds ...

Noone ever cared about the stitching paterns Linus wore. But if you asked him about his "fuck you" to nvidia, which was a "meme" too, hopefully he'd remember it.


I'm pretty sure it's her tone, together with the reaction of the other people in the studio that makes this feel like taking pride in ignorance.

But apart from that, an actor being asked about a scene they acted and reacting with "I don't know what that is. I don't know, I don't have a clue, I don't care" is a bit ridiculous. Everyone realizes that the phone and its messaging software is completely irrelevant to the movie, but we are used to great actors taking pride in details no layman would notice. Imagine a James Bond actor stating he doesn't care about the watch he wore, or Keanu Reeves mistakenly wearing the wrong type of belt for a suit and answering with "I don't know anything about belts, and I don't care"


She's not an actor, she's a pop star. The watch James Bond wears is often considered an integral part of his character, but the internal part of a pop star is dancing/singing, not some piece of software that was used for a segment for a couple of mere seconds. That'd be like accosting a Bond actor for not knowing the name brand of a pen he randomly picks up to scribble a note really quickly - eg, stupid. Give her shit for not knowing the name of a dance move, fine, but this spreadsheet thing? Chill.


Ah damn, integral*, not internal.


Would "they told me to type on thing and I typed on thing" be any better ?

> but we are used to great actors taking pride in details no layman would notice. Imagine a James Bond actor stating he doesn't care about the watch he wore, or Keanu Reeves mistakenly wearing the wrong type of belt for a suit and answering with "I don't know anything about belts, and I don't care"

The phone type is completely irrelevant to the plot tho, could be typing on 3210 and it wouldn't make difference.


Speak for yourself. I'm not used to any actors taking great pride in details no layman would notice. I 100% expect a James Bond actor to have no clue what watch they asked him to wear and same for Keaneau Reeves and a belt.


I want to watch the Wick series only because I heard about how Keanu went all in training for the long cut fight scene choreography. I don't know if it is a carefully maintained image but he seems like someone who gains success but manages to still care about the right stuff and not care about shallow fluff.


those are different though, as one is illogic (not making sense) and the other is merely opinion (fashion). but yeah, I get that that's just my opinion


Equally, some people would place fashion much higher than logicality.


>This kind of taking pride in ignorance just infuriates me to no end.

Yes, it's absolutely infuriating that a musician/pop star (read: a career that doesn't involve software) doesn't really know much about spreadsheet software that was used for a quarter of a second on a device, which was essentially just a prop, that has been out of date for decades.

/s

Yikes, bud. I don't really know what else to say; maybe go for a walk if this sorta thing really chaps your rump that much?


OP has a point, though. She might be a talented pop star, but surely she has encountered spreadsheets at some point in her life? For example: checking over notes from her accountant, planning tours, purchasing houses, reviewing marketing plans for album launches, etc.

Also, does not knowing about Excel also imply that she's never heard of Microsoft Word? That seems too farfetched.


>She might be a talented pop star, but surely she has encountered spreadsheets at some point in her life? For example: checking over notes from her accountant, planning tours, purchasing houses, reviewing marketing plans for album launches, etc.

Put together by other people who work for her. All she likely has to do is glance at it for a second and move on. She might have seen those spreadsheets, but she doesn't have to know that it's 'Microsoft Excel' nor how they function. And when you're at the level she is (or was) at, I'd even argue that you have less exposure than a glance when it comes to that stuff - your team will brief you and not necessarily bother showing it to you.

>Also, does not knowing about Excel also imply that she's never heard of Microsoft Word? That seems too farfetched.

This is where HN often falters - assuming average Joes/Janes or people not in tech know more about tech than they actually do. I'd wager that you'd be surprised at the number of people who don't know what Microsoft Word/Excel are.


You're missing the point; it's not that she doesn't know about Excel, or this phone, or anything else, it's that the usage of Excel in that video has been a "meme" for years, that she's been asked about it a bunch of times over the years, and that she STILL says she has no idea what "Excel" even is, and seems to be proud of that.

If she had said "Yeah, don't know much about computers, it was just a prop someone gave me" then that would be completely different.

You see this on e.g. HN too, some time ago "FizzBuzz" was discussed and some people seemed to be proud to be ignorant of the % operator. This really has nothing to do with "tech vs. non-tech" – it's just an attitude. It could have been about her holding a guitar wrong too: "whoops I held that wrong" is different from "I don't know what a guitar is, why should I care about guitars?"


Even if she's been asked about it numerous times, context is key here - how was the production of the music video shoot handled? How much input into that scene or clip did she actually have, or provide, when it was shot? How long did she hold the phone for when shooting? If the answer to many of those is little to none, then I don't expect her to remember shooting that scene. To then be asked about it numerous times years later would be surprising to her, especially if you don't necessarily know that it's been going around as a meme (not every celebrity enjoys paying attention to what's said about themselves online - we don't know whether or not she does, but I won't assume she's up to speed on everything written about her).

It doesn't impact her life at all, it's just noise on the internet to her, so why should she care?

I mean, that's actually a great question for you - why do you think she has to care about what Excel is, and why do you find her not caring about it so egregious that you would call her an idiot? And further, is it not OK to be OK with being ignorant to some things you just don't give a damn about?

Edit: Can people also not be flippant when an otherwise throwaway moment in their life is suddenly seized upon by hordes of people, some who call them an idiot for it? I don't think I'd fault someone for that reaction, myself.


> and that she STILL says she has no idea what "Excel" even is, and seems to be proud of that.

Good for her, she’s not a computer nerd like you, basing a large part of their worth in Internet forum comments. Has some other things going on in her life.

Touch grass, seriously.


> I'd wager that you'd be surprised at the number of people who don't know what Microsoft Word/Excel are.

Presumably, anyone who has never had any kind of a job in any field ever, or been to any kind of school.


>Presumably, anyone who has never had any kind of job in any field ever...

You do know that there are tons of jobs that don't ever require interacting with spreadsheets, let alone a computer, right? This is exactly what I was talking about regarding how many HN users view the rest of the world.

>... or been to any kind of school.

"When am I going to need to use this?" is a common refrain for more than just attitudes towards math. I have met many people in professional environments who have no experience with it and don't even know what it is until you explicitly remind them what it is/does.


Even though schools are rapidly moving to using Google Sheets?

I met someone younger than me (~23 or so) who's a very bright intern, whom never used Microsoft Excel (after seeing this thread, I had to ask). They know what Google Sheets is, but know nothing of Excel.


Is she really claiming she has no idea what a spreadsheet is?

I can believe she has no clue why nerds think the scene is wrong. This was a music video. She was handed a phone and told to type something. She did. Why would she care what phone model or app was used?

Somebody else said up in another comment... do you expect Daniel Craig to know what brand of suit he wore in a Bond movie he shot 15 years ago? At best, I'd expect him to know what watch brand/model Bond wears.


Corporations are "training" their people in MS products by showing them how to save and open documents. A half day of being shown that gives you some useless certificate or other that is often even required you hold (by corp rules). This is for people who actually work with these programs, and I assure you there are employees who need this information.

Of course billions of people who never have to use spreadsheets professionally will not realize what you can or cannot do with them. Or even recognize them if shown a few cells. Just because literally every one memeing on the internet cannot imagine a life without computers and beginners' knowledge about the common tools doesn't mean such knowledge is actually a common baseline in humans.

And honestly, what kind of fucked up wish is it for people to suffer Excel if they don't need to?


I can't imagine that was even on the screen at the time. In all likelihood she was holding up a device that was fully fake and they CGIed it in there.


I kinda doubt it, for two reasons: that’s more work than just opening a preinstalled program and typing, and if it was cgi, I would expect something whipped together in photoshop and after effects or whatever, and not a real program.

My third reason is a little weaker: doesn’t look like it to me.


Why would they go to all the effort of making a fake phone and then CGIing in the details, when a device that looked and worked exactly as shown in the video existed in real life?


She probably did not pay too much attention to the names of the spreadsheet functions on the phone that she briefly touched to film a commercial. It's obviously not "being proud of ignorance" or anything like that.


The inside shot of the phone wasn't even her -- the phone probably wasn't even powered on when she was handling it.

She just has better things to do than care about something this stupid.


This sounds like a more likely explanation; it was filmed separately


Any celebrity should familiarise themselves with the companies and products they endorse. If all they can manage is to do so at a superficial level, they should seriously consider declining. It is just amazing that society rewards such a lack of integrity.


> Any celebrity should familiarise themselves with the companies and products they endorse.

There is a difference between endorsing a product and acting in an ad for a product. The latter is an acted out sketch.

To be ultra-pedantic, one can same the same (just in a different way) for paid endorsements. But I hope the factual difference between the two is obvious enough to not need further explanation.


It is neither an endorsement nor an ad. It is a music video.

Now, Nokia could have been paying her to use their phone during the music video - product placement is a thing, and you can see the brand logo in the shot. But I suspect if they were, Nokia's brand reps probably wouldn't have wanted a shot of a popular R&B singer trying to text from a spreadsheet and would have made sure the shot looked better to protect their brand.

If it's not Nokia she's "endorsing", then presumably it's Excel. That fails on the basis that she probably wouldn't have been using Excel on the phone. As noted in jgc's blog post, it's likely the built-in spreadsheet software in Symbian. Either way, it isn't distinctly Excel - it's a generic spreadsheet app with no particular visual distinctiveness that would pick it out as Excel. People only say it's Excel because that's the spreadsheet they're most familiar with.

(Incidentally, I'm all for ensuring celebrities who do paid endorsements are doing so responsibly. There ought to be some consequences for the public figures who used their fame to push cryptoscams including Tom Brady, Matt Damon, Jimmy Fallon, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian etc. if only so it prompts their agents to think twice and do some due diligence in the future.)


> It is neither an endorsement nor an ad. It is a music video. Now, Nokia could have been paying her to use their phone during the music video - product placement is a thing, and you can see the brand logo in the shot.

I believe it is a fairly clear example of product placement, which is a form of advertisement. Like, when I see Andrew Garfield playing the role of Spiderman and having shots of him using Bing in those movies, there is no way I could consider it anything but product placement/ad.

Sure, there are less clear-cut edge cases in music, such as rappers namedropping luxury brands like LV, Ferrari, Rolex, etc., but at this point it is a part of the identity of the genre.

But overall, I think it is pretty obvious that when a brand/logo gets prominently featured in media such as movies, music videos, etc., it is for product placement purposes. And in cases when it isn't, taking it as a personal endorsement is kind of silly. For me, personal endorsement is cleanly defined as using and/or recommending products explicitly, outside of "fictional" media you produce (e.g., MKBHD reviewing tech products is not "fictional" media, so for him the endorsement would often come from within the media he produces).


I do not believe the line is so clear cut for a recognisable face. Brands seek out these celebrities and pay a premium for the aura. The endorsement is implicit.

Consider that the relationship works both ways, the celebrity's own brand is tarnished by involvement with a product hit by scandal. See the celebrities that promoted FTX as an example. It is in their own interest to do some due diligence.

Conversely, the ads would be dropped if the celebrity actor became toxic. If Kelly Rowland made Kanye-style comments about Nazis or Jews, the ad would be buried. Are Kevin Spacey ads still airing?

The entire celebrity/influencer marketing system intentionally exploits a failure mode of human cognitive bias for profit. Transactional endorsements are morally bankrupt. A family member or friend that blindly recommended a product or service for pay would lose respect for that breach of trust. Celebrities that people respect should be held to the same or higher standards.

Consider this, if John Carmack regularly did ads playing a generic software engineer at BigCo and it turned out he didn't even know what the products were, would this community hold him in the same high regard?


Ads uncovered as exploitation scheme, news at 11 !!

Or as the old capitalist saying goes: We know they are telling us bullshit, they know they are telling us bullshit, they know we know they are telling us bullshit, we know they know we know they are telling us bullshit, but we are still buying their product ;)


why aren't you in commercials


In that interview she is definitely "proud" not knowing what Excel is. Not knowing what Excel is is fine. Being proud of it is not.


If you walked into her music studio would you know what every piece of equipment does? Would you be ashamed of admitting you didn’t?

How much do you even know about music theory or dance choreography?


That doesn't connect with that video or my commentary about it in the slightest.

If I did something wrong with a flofof in public, and people comment and ask my about my wrong usage of a flofof for years, and I respond with "bitch, I don't know what a flofof is, and I don't want to know, looollll, keepin' it real bro!" then I'd be a right idiot – not for doing something wrong with a flofof, or not immediately knowing what a flofof is, but for not WANTING to know and making a show out of not knowing.

This is performative idiocy.


>"bitch, I don't know what a flofof is, and I don't want to know, looollll, keepin' it real bro!"

It seems like you're getting some kind of racial McGurk effect here? Kelly Rowland does not talk anything like this in the linked video. Here is what she actually says:

"Here's the sitch. I don't know what that is. I don't know what Microsoft Excel is. I don't know. I don't have a clue. So when I saw all these memes, I was like 'I don't care'."

Apart from 'sitch' and 'like' (which are both very common usages in informal conversation) this is all fully standard American English. You're getting worked up about someone saying that (i) they don't know what Microsoft Excel is and (ii) that they don't care about some memes. The "performative idiocy" exists only in your imagination.

The irony is that you're doing your own version of performative idiocy in your attempt to (I guess?) imitate Black American English.


Well this is HN, where every white dude with green hair behind a keyboard who has a shiny tech job thinks that the entire world should know all the things they know, regardless of profession, background, or interest.


It implies that directly. I work in cloud consulting. I have my specialties and I know a little about the other areas.

Heck, I just did a CI/CD proof of concept where the company was using Java Docker containers. I don’t know Java at all and haven’t done anything in Java in two decades (I’m a .Net, Python, JavaScript guy)

I used ChatGPT to help me create a simple Java Spring Boot app in a Docker container with JUnit tests. I freely admitted I don’t know Java and that I used ChatGPT to do Java parts. That’s not what I was brought in for just like she wasn’t brought in to do Excel.

ChatGPT propped me up just like her producers propped her up and brought her in to do a role.

If I found out that my little dummy POC HelloWorld Java/Springboot Docker container “did something wrong”, do you think I would give two fucks? Do you think I would care enough to learn Java? My job to be done was not to write a Java app, it was to teach them how to implement a CI/CD process to deliver their apps to production.


Your comment is still totally irrelevant what others are talking about. It’s fine to admit that you don’t know about something no matter its relevance. It’s not fine to be proud of it no matter its relevance to anybody.


I am proud to admit that I don’t know astrophysics, how to do brain surgery, fly a plain, do a slam dunk from the three point line, and many other things.

If the pilot on Delta had a heart attack and the flight attendant ask me to fly the plane, I would say “here’s the ‘sitch, I don’t know anything about flying a plane”

I have no idea why geeks are getting their panties all twisted because a famous singer doesn’t know Excel.


Nobody cares here that she doesn’t know, or what you doesn’t know, or even what you know.

We care about that you and Kelly preach ignorance, which is proven to be damaging to you or for the society at large.

Btw, for your Delta example: you don’t need to be proud of your lack of knowledge to admit that you don’t know anything. In your example, there is no sign of proudness.


Is there absolutely nothing in the cornucopia of human knowledge that you don’t know or have no desire to learn? What was she suppose to do go out and take an extension course on Microsoft Office?

If she asked you to be one of her backup dancers would you expect people to tsk tsk on their high horse if you laughed and said “I can’t dance. I have no desire to learn how to dance and I have two left feet”?

What’s the difference?

and while you say that’s a crazy example and dismiss it like you do the others, I actually was a part time fitness instructor about a decade ago and I did learn some about choreography, staying on beat to music, creating choreography that changed with the 32 count phrase of music, how to mix my own 32 count music with what is now Adobe Audition, etc and I had plenty of geeks come to my classes bragging about their ignorance when it came to having rythym.

Is that the same in your eyes - being proud of their ignorance?


> Is there absolutely nothing in the cornucopia of human knowledge that you don’t know or have no desire to learn?

Totally irrelevant to the topic what I desire.

> What was she suppose to do go out and take an extension course on Microsoft Office?

No. She could just simply admit that she didn’t and doesn’t know what is Excel. She didn’t just do that. She was cocky about it.

> If she asked you to be one of her backup dancers would you expect people to tsk tsk on their high horse if you laughed and said “I can’t dance. I have no desire to learn how to dance and I have two left feet”?

Yeah, because this is cocky. You can say the same thing without being asshole.

> Is that the same in your eyes - being proud of their ignorance?

Yes, if they really bragged about it. You can convey the same information without bragging and being cocky.


The difference is that Microsoft Excel is more important than dancing, and we won’t stop until all of humanity is subjugated to the wonders of Excel 24/7! /s


[flagged]


/s obviously


that's "the sitch"

it's not the ignorance, it's the gleeful arrogance and gloating about being ignorant.

this kind of attitude is dangerous.


You using incorrect grammar and not capitalizing the first word of each sentence is about as dangerous.


the incorrect grammar is a quote from the video

i'm a c programmer, lowercase is beautiful and saves some pinky effort

the celebration and glorification of ignorance and simultaneously the persecution of intellect is a common facet of nearly all fascist, authoritarian, and communist regimes.

my counter-culture capitalization is harmless, but i'm amused that it got your goat.


I didn't know a comma splice could be captured on video.


LOL, actually watching the video, I'm sure it did.

semi-intentional:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comma_splice

    Comma splices are also occasionally used in fiction, poetry, and other forms of literature to convey a particular mood
    or informal style. Some authors use commas to separate short clauses only.


What?


Firstly, how do you not know what Microsoft Excel is? Secondly, she's the one who is using it and is the focus of the memes she is talking about.. and she still doesn't just look it up.


Taking a generous perspective - her job is a musical artist.

Unless you are in her industry, there are probably tons of things she knows about you and I don't - like good brands of music sheets, mixing desks or microphones.

Excel is known, by a certain selection of office workers.


Thanks to e.g. Google Sheets, excel itself doesn't dominate the market like it used to. Beyond that, I've had a litany of jobs where I had zero reason to ever use a spreadsheet, one of which was one where I actually sold Microsoft Office licenses.

For a great many folks, the only time they may have encountered spreadsheet software at all was in a school computer literacy class, and even then...


Maybe I have grown out of being in Windows world for awhile and am biased, but it does seem like 2023 Excel is less ubiquitous in cultural mindshare than 2007 Excel. There’s probably a lot of factors contributing to that.


> Firstly, how do you not know what Microsoft Excel is?

By not being in a office-work career field.


I suspect this "how do you not know Excel" sentiment is psychologically similar to people in the US (where I live) telling others to "speak English" instead of their native language.


You're incorrect and you're just ignoring the second part of my comment too.


> You’re incorrect

Good argument


well microsoft says there is 750 million users of excel globally. So potentially 90% of the world?


9%


I was answering the inverse. If 9% use, then 91% don't


> how do you not know what Microsoft Excel is?

She signed a record deal at age 14, back at a time when knowing how to power on a computer was seen as a specialized office skill.

> she's the one who is using it

She isn't a director, and likely had no role in preparing props.


Because she's got a life and better things to do.


She's in conversations about it though and still doesn't know..


lol a lot of normal people don't know what Excel is.


According to the post she's using Sheet not Excel


I think she might be more annoyed that people bother her with this specific meme. It sounds like the director or ADs might have told her to do this in the music video, and now the internet chooses to believe that somehow she was the one who decided to do this. It's like how Tom Hardy has been reduced to 3-4 odd lines in The Dark Knight Rises. Some celebrities embrace it with grace but I can understand those who don't.


That's the tradeoff they make for being famous.


“You’re famous so I get to abuse you however I want and you can’t complain” is an absolutely terrible point of view.


Memeing about content they put out is hardly abuse


That can’t be a serious comment. What a shameful, childish attitude. Maybe you’ll realize it in a few years when you turn 18.


it is! wipes tears with dolla bills


Actually, Kelly matched one meme with another:

https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2016/09/mariah-carey-i-dont...

It’s pretty sad that the parent got upvoted and commented so much, without anyone catching on to this.

The HN crowd really needs to take a course on modern culture or something. People in this community are not as smart as they think they are, and this problem seems to have gotten a lot worse after the recent Reddit migration.


> People in this community are not as smart as they think they are, and this problem seems to have gotten a lot worse after the recent Reddit migration.

Isnt it the same anywhere a bunch of nerds and geeks gather?


Sometimes people get shamed for knowing too much about something, being labelled too obsessive, too nerdy, too meticulous, too "privileged" to be able to care about useless things, etc. Consequentially then, the shamer will become proud of not knowing those things, and then extend it to not knowing other things even if it's crucial.

Anecdotally, I strive to not know all states of USA and its locations because if I do, it means I have truly consumed American media too much. And I slowly fail at it.


> the shamer will become proud of not knowing those things, and then extend it to not knowing other things even if it's crucial.

I guess I take great pride in not knowing the latest celebrity shenanigans, or whoever the captain of $sportsteam is. Intellectually I don't consider it a quality, but I suspect many would not consider it to be "wilful ignorance".

Even when I do know some sports fact (I think Manchester City won the league last year for example) I will pretend I don't when I'm in company.

About a decade ago I was on a multi-day training course in some rural area. In the evening I was in the hotel bar with a bunch of sports journalists who clearly knew a lot about football. I was sat in the middle of the sofa and all was good as we talked about something like IEDs or missing limbs. It then moved on to football. I was completely lost, until they mentioned an early 1990s football player who I knew from when I was young and played Championship Manager 93. I could finally interject with an on topic point. That small anecdote did not go well as it then pivoted to conversations about other 1990s football players and I was once again stuck.

There's a scene in "Friends" where Joey reads an encyclopedia about words beginning with "V". He then has a (unusually) decent knowledge of things from Volcanos to Vivisection. Then he made the mistake of mentioning the Vietnam war. Immediately the conversation pivoted to Korean war and he was lost. Felt just like that.

As such I just live my life pretending football etc doesn't exist. It's easier that way. I won't get dragged into a conversation about the offside rule or whatever.

I imagine the same applies to non-computer people who talk about computers. They might interject with some basic thing like "webpages are made of html", but then get lost as people start talking about nodejs frameworks or something. Better to just not have that conversation in the first place.


Having such a strong negative reaction to an innocent daytime TV bit just speaks volumes.

Might want to look in the mirror before judging people so harshly.

Especially since I guarantee shes more knowledgeable and capable in her field of work than you are in yours.


she's


>shes more knowledgeable and capable in her field of work

That's a weird statement. Hip-hop success is orthogonal to knowledge, there are illiterate (and proud of it) stars and obscure Berklee graduates.


Not even going to touch the bait in your statement but calling Kelly Rowland a hip-hop artist is an exceedingly bizarre statement. It would be like calling Blink 182 hair metal, or calling Coldplay classic rock.


Well to him all black musicians are hip-hop artists


“Hip-hop” lol.

But also, don’t forget that there are ignorant (and proud of it) Berklee graduates.


Are there really? At the very least you have to be able to read and write, understand harmony and a lot more.


Reading you loud and clear!


I take pride in my ignorance of some things. For example, the current news about celebrity goings-on.

I can only name a single Kardashian (Kim), and I wish I didn't even know that one. I am proud to say I have no idea if they are even relevant anymore.

That's not to say that I take pride in ignorance of all subjects. Just some.


Here's a hot take: I think this kind of pride in ignorance of social happenings is just as bad as pride in ignorance of math/science. They both seem like attempts to paper over feelings of exclusion from one group by using feelings of inclusion in another group. Why not just let people like what they like without judgement?


> pride in ignorance of social happenings is just as bad as pride in ignorance of math/science.

are you sure?

I mean, math is math, wherever you go, the rules always apply, they can be updated, but once you know something, it is valid until proven wrong.

OTOH "social happenings" (which really is a synonym for "people branding", marketing in short) makes no sense at all.

I can understand why someone decides to completely ignore something like this

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/beauty/hair/g43794418/summer-2...


> I can understand why someone decides to completely ignore something like this

The fact that you can't see the other side of this shows how one-sided type view point is.

99% of people will never need or use calculus in their life. Most jobs have zero to do with Excel.

There are probably 100s of millions of people who care about what celebrity X is up to, and a factoid about a defunct app, on a dead phone, by a dissolved company is almost the definition of useless trivia. It's the person who knows how many pieces of dryer lint were in Dan Quayle's pocket the day he got married. You just happen to care about it.

Knowing celebrity news allows for instant connection with millions of people who also know about this news. In practical terms you can with higher probability form a bond with someone by talking with them about celebrity news then tour can by opening a conversion on obscure math (or computer) topic. If your job is able building relationships, or you simply care about connecting with people it's a much more efficient way of doing so.

Guess what? You likely don't have this knowledge. And you probably are glad you don't, and are maybe even proud that your don't. And you likely excuse yourself for feeling this way, while blaming others for feeling the same about a topic your care about.


> 99% of people will never need or use calculus in their life. Most jobs have zero to do with Excel.

doesn't imply that ignoring the Kardashians is as bad as pride in ignorance of math/science. (direct quote from you)

> There are probably 100s of millions of people who care about what celebrity X is up to

But if those celebrities died together at the same time, very few of those 100 millions people would actually suffer any consequence.

So they are basically useless to society, math and science are provably not.

> Knowing celebrity news allows for instant connection with millions of people who also know about this news

I'll pass om that, thank you.

Millions of people watch soccer in my country, never cared for a second.

Guess what?

I have tons of connections with people I share common interests with.

Who would have thought that was possible?

> Guess what? You likely don't have this knowledge. And you probably are glad you don't, and are maybe even proud that your don't.

Have you ever considered that people simply don't care and their life is just as good as anybody else?

I honestly don't understand what drives your thought process, but if you are thinking that I need to excuse myself for not caring about most famous people, sorry to break the news for you, you don't know how wrong you are.

> while blaming others for feeling the same about a topic your care about.

That's just you assuming bad faith.

I don't care what other people care about or not, it doesn't affect me at all, I simply replied to pride in ignorance of social happenings is just as bad as pride in ignorance of math/science. It is simply not.


> OTOH "social happenings" (which really is a synonym for "people branding", marketing in short) makes no sense at all.

But is that because socialization isn't bound by rules, or is it because the rules are too sophisticated to be fully understood by our current state of the art in social sciences? We (probably) live in a deterministic universe, so doesn't that mean "the rules always apply" for socialization, which is a natural physical occurrence, just as much as they apply for math?

To me, dismissing socialization as "making no sense" is just a way of giving up on trying to understand it, but without admitting that.


> To me, dismissing socialization as "making no sense"

Who did dismiss socializing?

We are talking about (quote) social happenings (unquote) among famous people who happen to be famous just because they exploited marketing strategies to become famous for the sake of being famous, with no other talent than being born rich.

In that contest the content doesn't make any sense, there is no reason why this year you should wear green and the next one yellow (but it applies only to Hollywood for some reason...[1] do we know what's trendy now in Myanmar? I don't think so), it's a completely random thing, that also has no impact on anybody's life, nothing bad happens if you do not do it and since most of us will never end up on the cover of fashion magazines and tabloids, why should we care about it?

Nobody said that you shouldn't have a BBQ with your friends and family and participate in a proper social gathering.

[1] the most simple explanation is that these people live basically in a confined space and only associate with other people who happen to live like they do, so if one of them wears a fedora at a party in one of their villas, probably someone else will wear it too, photographers find 3 of them and invent the narrative around "this is the year of the fedora"

It's Black Mirror's Mazey Day basically, but if one thinks about it, apart from greed, exploitation and lack of better things to publish, there's not much to gain by studying it, except maybe become one of them or more probably look like a poorer less glamorous cosplayer of one of them.


I think this is a good way to demonize a person for displaying proud ignorance of a topic but is probably inaccurate. Just as I simply do not care about celebrity news (rather than actively despise its existence), I’m sure many people simply do not care about many of the things I enjoy. I don’t begrudge them that. We all have a limited time on earth, and we spend that time on things we enjoy. Most of us probably can’t even explain _why_ we like the things we do, but part of enjoying what we do means not over analyzing it, and rather just giving ourselves to it. I think this applies universally to interests.


[flagged]


You get that the month is not about celebrating the biblical sin, right? Words can have multiple meanings, Orel.


Are you sure about that?


I don't know about OP, but I am.


From Wikipedia:

> Pride is defined by Merriam-Webster as "reasonable self-esteem" or "confidence and satisfaction in oneself".[1] Oxford defines it as "the quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself or one's own importance."[2] This may be related to one's own abilities or achievements, positive characteristics of friends or family, or one's country. Richard Taylor defined pride as "the justified love of oneself",[3] as opposed to false pride or narcissism. Similarly, St. Augustine defined it as "the love of one's own excellence",[4] and Meher Baba called it "the specific feeling through which egoism manifests."[5]

Seems to capture "both" aspects for the word to me.


Wait 'til you hear what they call a group of lions.


See sibling for the working definition I'm using. This argument is so weak I have to wonder if you actually agree with me.


welp here comes trouble


> I can only name a single Kardashian

I am sure you know Gul Dukat.


Niche but I laughed.


Now, i am also tempted to search this but will pass.


If you give into your temptation, you will watch a show with possibly greatest villains ever created on the screen.


Who?


Exactly.


Just like you are ignorant about Kasdashians it is totally understandable that Nelly or Kelly or whatever has no ffing clue about MS Excel. It is OK they do not have to know what it is.


OP takes issue with their being obtuse about it.


She's not proud of anything, she literally just doesn't care because to her this program has absolutely no relevance to her life beyond a brief cameo in a music video a few decades ago. It's like saying you don't know what a fuel pump is and you really don't care.


A lot of people are attacking you on the assertion that she’s proudly ignorant.

I didn’t take her response as proudly ignorant as much as indignantly annoyed. Rowland has been passed up time and again in her career. She’s a wonderfully talented singer and by all rights should have been as famous and successful as Beyoncé, but for whatever reasons, she wasn’t “chosen” to move up the ranks.

I think in that situation, it would be slightly annoying for someone to criticize (even in jest) some throwaway moment on a music video you made years ago, rather than take your music career seriously. I’m guessing she was more frustrated that her interviewers were basically using her for a joke than helping her gain some steam with her music career.


In a world that incentives attention so much, that demands a weird kind of self-discipline of constant global awareness, of perpetual mobilization, an attitude like this can show extreme intelligence, resilience, and independence. Like, people are literally bombarded by scams and fake news every day. Every other app you download is either ripping you off or vying to. Every other commercial you watch is either trying to get you to gamble your money, buy antidepressants, or sue those who sold you antidepressants. We cannot even, at large, decide on fundamental questions of human rights and basic dignity! How can we even pretend to have this conviction? That a line is crossed in the blissful joy of being ignorant of Excel? That being on television should be something more lofty, more honored, than such an attitude?

"Stupidity" can be a much more properly virtuous mode of life than others that value knowledge only for knowledge's sake.


Cognitive dissonance. Knowing stuff is (generally) smart. Not knowing stuff is dumb. If someone's superior knowledge in a field makes you feel dumb, you assage your self image by saying you're not dumb, you're just not a try-hard nerd.

Not being able to appreciate that people are better than you in some fields (or maybe even most fields) might be dumb, but that could be part of a self-reinforcing cycle of not learning or trying because you might not be successful.


Probably more about not caring than being proud - can't really call someone stupid for not caring about office productivity software when their profession couldn't be more distant from it.

Not to mention - using tech and computing concepts in absurd ways is a decades old running joke in media.

Imagine Anna Belknap in that seat being asked about writing a GUI interface in visual basic to track an IP address and the response would probably be the same.


Do you remember every phone you touched in 2002? I don’t even remember what phone I had except that I think it was a Samsung and it had a color screen and I replaced it with a Sidekick the next year and I have a photographic memory for this sort of stupidity.

I think it’s totally normal to not remember a 20-year old prop from a music video.


I wonder if the screen was edited in in post-production, or something like that… screens tend to not look very good when filmed, right?


Yes, but that's a completely different scenario than being proud of not knowing what Excel is. I need to keep repeating myself here because you've clearly not actually watched the video I'm responding to.


I mean, I literally posted the video you’re responding to, but go off.

I think it’s completely fine for someone to not know anything about Microsoft Excel, even tho it is my personal favorite app ever and it was a freaking Mac app first. First good GUI spreadsheet. Excel forever. But Kelly Rowland is allowed to not know it or remember its role in a prop she used in a music video 20 years ago.


What next, should she also know vi?


Why does she have care about Microsoft Excel?

Why do I habe to care about amines in chemistry or galaxies in Astronomy? We pick our interests and it's fine saying "I don't care nor want to know about that". Specially when it doesn't affect you. She doesn't need it.


Perhaps to look at the numbers provided to her by her label/manager, try to get some idea of her taxes, make some budget.

I bet artists do sit in meetings sometimes - even to review their sales or net results.


> This kind of taking pride in ignorance just infuriates me to no end.

This kind of taking pride in ignorance isn't so bad, compared to the other kinds.

"Oh, that's not for me, I'm so bad at maths" followed by a giggle.

or this, from an actual university student (relative of my wife), when I asked what they like to read:

"Nah, I never read, I hate reading".

That sort of taking pride in ignorance is worse.


How can saying that you're terrible at something and nervously giggling about it be prideful? The thought processes that began this thread astonish me.

Pride in ignorance is when people say there's nothing to some journalistic exposé, you ask them what was wrong with it, and they insist that they would never lower themselves to reading that kind of trash.

Not when someone who has difficulty reading says that they hate reading.


> "Nah, I never read, I hate reading".

> That sort of taking pride in ignorance is worse.

Being averse against reading is not the same as being ignorant. It reminds me of that famous Bill Gates quote, "I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it." That person will master ways to learn things without reading a whole lot.


> This kind of taking pride in ignorance just infuriates me to no end

I'm pretty sure that if you ask Daniel Radcliffe he would say he doesn't know jack sh*t about magic and he really did not know what he was doing, except that he was doing his job: acting (i.e. pretending to be something you are not, in this specific case someone sending a message through a phone using Excel)

I'm also pretty sure that many CSI actors did not know anything about "zoom & enhance" and Hugh Jackman has no clue about hacking a system especially while receiving oral sex with a gun pointed at his head

https://movietvtechgeeks.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/hugh...


This was a quick assumption based on passing knowledge of a person. This makes you ignorant.

Why are there people like this on HN?


I just watched the video where behaviour is exhibited. To put it plainly: if you don't want to come off as an idiot, then don't act like an idiot.


> if you don't want to come off as an idiot, then don't act like an idiot.

Cool story! Take your own advice.

You made a quick assumption. Own it. Admit that your beliefs are based on an overly produced segment on a canceled daytime talk show lol. Please.


>If you don't want to come off as an idiot, then don't act like an idiot.

So much for empathy[0], huh?

[0]https://www.arp242.net/empathy.html


Of all the things to be proud to be ignorant of, Excel is probably near the top of the list.

I wish I didn’t know what excel was.


It's ignorant to use "to no end" (uselessly) when you mean "no end" (endlessly).


thanks for the opportunity to learn.


It is entirely possible she does know and is simply acting. In fact, her entire public persona may well be manufactured, as it is by many.


Exactly


Ignorance (especially pride about it) is so infuriating because it suggests to people that their knowledge about something is not in any way essential to humans. And this is true about Excel. If someone told me they hadn't heard of WWII or the moon landing then I would be right to be angry as it is information that is really essential to all of us. For anything else, we really shouldn't waste our energy on this infinite source of anger. This is the first time I have heard of that woman, I bet nobody cares about it here. Perhaps other people would be mad about it in the same way you are about her not knowing Excel. I won't disagree with you though that it is very tempting to get annoyed by it :)


Being insulted because people think your interests are stupid or boring is weakness. She (and literally everyone else on the planet) has got more to concentrate on than your feelings about Excel.


You are the one making the ignorant statement.

She was concentrating on a 100 other things rather than what they handed her to type on.

To you, the most important thing is she was using excel on a phone.


Imagine a well known figure in tech, doing a commercial where they’re asked to “play guitar” or keyboards (but obviously the music and their instrument playing don’t line up and their person is like, I don’t know what a Stratocaster is, or I don’t know what a Yamaha is! It’s just like that.


Perhaps she is just media savvy and will take the hit from comment trolls rather than be direct about it. It also sends a message to potential sponsors of her willingness to entertain offers.


Well, I think an active effort to understand and empathize with people needs to happen first, instead of treating everyone you don’t exactly agree with as an enemy. A democracy only works if everyone acknowledges everyone’s legitimacy, otherwise it just becomes bickering over small issues.


Yes because I’m sure you know everything about every subject and anything you don’t know you’re spending time to learn.


Friend, you oughtta go touch grass.


Sorry, can you specify where she takes pride in not knowing how excel works?


> Why do we put people like this on TV?

In this specific case, because they are extremely successful in their field (which is also why they can justifiably be happily ignorant of things well outside of it.).


she wasn't exactly doing product review. i doubt she even knew what the brand was. all she prob did was hold a prop her assistant gave her.


Im proud of being ignorant of pop culture references.


Not caring about Excel does not make you stupid.


Alternatively, she's an entertainer on tv and she was being entertaining.


You're replying to someone who thinks a marketing account for fucking Microsoft Excel is "the only good twitter account" so the bar for good taste in this thread is already subterranean.


Touch grass


Put the red pill down...


Pretty sure this whole thread is a lesson in subtle racism


She probably meant to say "I don't know what that is, I don't know why this is a meme, after all everyone knows that the spreadsheet app on the Nokia Communicator wasn't Microsoft Excel"...


oh, twitter works again


That response was a little cringe, she doesn’t come out as a likable person…


Of course, it’s this blog of mine that’s #1 on HN!

If you like this sort of thing: https://www.tumblr.com/moviecode and https://behind-the-screens.tv/


> Of course, it’s this blog of mine that’s #1 on HN!

I mean, you did file it under "well, actually..." - that's canonical for HN. ;)


Thank you for these blogs! Huge, huge fan of your work on all of this stuff -- and as a Kelly Rowland fan (Beyonce is still better, but Kelly > Michelle), thank you for this as well!


Little known fact, Kelly is actually the diminutive of Column, her birth name is Column Row-land. Hence why she was using a spreadsheet.


I loved your moviecode project, spent countless hours during college reading at these random snippets of code :)


congrats! regarding this particular post, you may want to revisit the primary source material, the secondary source tik tok, and ultimately the relevance of the post

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36689930

EDIT: i don’t mean to take anything away from your blog, and thank you for posting these links! the theme is super interesting and 100% deserving of attention and analysis. thank you for putting it together, i’m enjoying reading through the posts :)


Thank you for the blog and the links. If I may ask, what made you nuke your YouTube account, versus keeping it and the website?


I work at Cloudflare. I have a strong belief in "skin in the game" so I switched all my videos away from YouTube and onto Cloudflare Stream. I use as many Cloudflare products as I can as a paying customer so I understand the customer experience.


Better or worse than if it were making the Yogasleep Travel Mini play the theme from Kung Fury?


It’s a tragedy that my genius is not recognized: https://blog.jgc.org/2023/05/an-unexpected-journey-making-yo...


The "sheet" file could have been acting as the datastore for a text messaging program, Kelly being so distraught over having not receiving a response in a timely manner from Nelly lead her to check the datastore to make sure that the program wasn't malfunctioning by not showing new messages.


Spreadsheet as a database is a common pattern.


I also use Excel as a middle man to help copy/paste tables from one app to another.


Decades of use and improvements have made Excel a surprisingly good app for this. Even as recently as 5 years ago I would paste outputs from databases in there to do quick cleanups of data for small scale analysis


This is clearly what she meant to do


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilemma_(song)

"An accompanying music video was directed by Benny Boom and released in September 2002."

Apps like that weren't available then.


Mercury Instant Messager for Nokia 9210 / 9290

"a Jabber based, interoperatable client, is enabled with group conferencing abilities, third party gateway functionality (chatting with users from AOL, Yahoo, ICQ, IRC, and more!), and unlimited contact storage."

http://www.allaboutsymbian.com/news/item/Mercury_Instant_Mes...


In fact, this very music video served as the inspiration for the first messaging app back in 2004.

"Managing all these spreadsheets is so cumbersome! Surely, there must be a better way..." - John Messages

Clearly, I'm missing your point.


you're misunderstanding the point of the exercise


i think both OP and the motivating tiktok have misread, even inverted the narrative.

after rewatching the music video for Dilemma[1], i’m reading the nokia phone scene as: she’s received a message from her “boo” inquiring her whereabouts as she pines after nelly, and is not in fact attempting to send a message to nelly. that the green shirt and white pantsed clad figure outside her window is indeed nelly, and not her alleged boo, is supported by the prior scene in which nelly, clad in same clothes, is seen grinding with kelly in the street.

this changes the narrative of the linked blog post entirely. kelly was sold as a bimbo trying to send a text via a spreadsheet app without internet connectivity, when the facts better support a narrative of her being sent a needy message by this unsatisfactory “boo” in the form of a spreadsheet attachment (what a dork) while she further cements her infatuation with nelly and his unbelievable cheekbones (and inexplicable cheek sticker).

if she’s the recipient of a message, and not the sender, how could the HYPERLINK= VBA function be relevant at all?

[1]: https://youtu.be/8WYHDfJDPDc

phone scene time stamp 3:05


Fun fact, Nelly nearly played major league baseball[0].

  "St. Louis' very own rapper/actor/celebrity fitness guru was a breakout talent on the baseball diamond, finding solace and stability in the game after his parents divorced and he was forced to stay with a string of relatives. In high school, he was named the MVP of the St. Louis Amateur Baseball Association All-Star Game, and was scouted by the St. Louis Cardinals and Pittsburgh Pirates. But around the same time, he started his first rap group – the St. Lunatics – and scored a regional hit with the single "Gimme What U Got," which led him to pursue a career in music instead. Within a few years, he had the whole word wearing Band-Aids beneath their eyes and spelling things with double-r's, helping to put the Midwest on the hip-hop map."
The sticker is a shoutout to his baseball days, imitating the eye-black[1] commonly worn by baseball players.

[0] https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-lists/9-musicians-w...

[1] https://www.dickssportinggoods.com/f/eye-black-athletes


Interesting! This gives a lot of context to the song "Batter Up".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNGaa5Opfmc


Dang, I watched the scene and completely agree with your assessment on this!

I wonder if maybe the device had an option to "open with" and it opened inside of "Sheets", instead of whatever the messenger app would have been, for some reason?


She also tosses the phone aside, like she is annoyed and does not care about the spreadsheet text message she just received or the person who sent it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WYHDfJDPDc&t=190s


Up next: could have two NCIS agents typed on the same keyboard at the time to defend from a security breach in real time?


My headcanon for that scene is that the two of them were letting a program run in the background, and at the same time were just fucking with the rest of the team. The rest of the NCIS team was remarkably tech illiterate, while Abby and Tim were definitely the type to joke around. It was just two geeks trolling their coworkers.


Could Sandra's character in The Net send an email to FBI address bcg@fbi.justice https://youtu.be/6ya9GVSPiXs?t=49

and were the Switch Mail Center settings correct? https://youtu.be/6ya9GVSPiXs?t=13


You know what we don't talk enough about about this movie? Angela was a Mac user -- and not a Mac user when it was cool to be a Mac user, a Mac user when it was extremely not cool to be a Mac user and a Mac would be the worst machine you could use circa 1994/1995 to hack into anything. (Mission: Impossible used a Mac too, but they didn't use the Mac OS 7 UI, meaning Ethan used a command line, which was wrong but "felt" more hackery.) They even shot the final sequence at a Macworld or something if my Mac-trivia-adled brain is remembering correctly.

Anyway, in 5th grade or whatever, we totally used to use the same names and icons that they had in "The Net" when chatting with one another using AppleTalk or whatever the networked chat system was that you could use in the Mac lab.

But we don't talk enough about how improbable it would be that this elite hacker circa 1994/1995 would be using a Mac in those cursed Michael Spindler times.


The Net is a guilty pleasure of a movie

> But we don't talk enough about how improbable it would be that this elite hacker circa 1994/1995 would be using a Mac in those cursed Michael Spindler times.

Fast forward to 2011 where The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo also uses a Mac for hacking, a bit cringe but not as impossible like Mission Impossible, then in the same movie she uses Nokia 770 and that thing had some genuine superpowers compared to Nokia 9210


You are right, and there's historical records to back you up. ;) Phrack touched on it back in 1996, at http://www.textfiles.com/magazines/PHRACK/PHRACK48 :

> First, some words on Macintoshes. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, the originators of the Apple and the Macintosh were busted for phreaking in college. The Apple IIe was used almost universally by hackers. So why has the Mac fallen out of favor for hacking? Simple. Because it fell out of favor for everything else.

before listing some of the few hacking resources available for Mac.

Still, if you go by movies, Hackers, also from 1995, has Macs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IESEcsjDcmM

A year or so later (1996), our hero used a PowerBook 5300 to help save the Earth in Independence Day.

Brought to you by Apple marketing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEMJzSVpdJM and https://web.archive.org/web/20080927051545/http://www.inform... .

FWIW, http://www.starringthecomputer.com/computers.html lists computers used in films.


It’s funny: an archaeologist stumbling across movies of the mid 90s would conclude with near certainty that everyone in the mid 90s was using a Mac


I think you need to take a closer look at the list. ;)

For 1995 there's 9 or so Macs but there's also: Amstrad PCW 9512, Apple IIGS, Apple Newton MessagePad 100, Commodore 64, 4 Compaqs, DEC VAX 11/780, IBM AN/FSQ-7, 6 IBM PCs, two SGIs, a few Toshiba laptops, and a Zenith Supersport.

That's nearly twice as many PCs as Macs in the list.


I wonder if that was paid placement, or was there some Hollywood types who liked Macs back then. For writing, perhaps?? Certainly no feature film editing was going on with PCs or Macs, that's for sure!


Oh, it was definitely paid! As another mentioned, a year later they spent $16 million on an ad campaign for Mission: Impossible, a movie they got the PowerBook to too late and that didn’t have any of the Mac UI in the film.

But the best part was that Gil Amelio, the CEO at the time (and the third in like 36 months or something) ignored all of his lieutenants and shipped that PowerBook, even tho it had massive problems (and later, I think exploding batteries) but it shipped late so they couldn’t get it out on shelves to take advantage of the commercials and product placement.

But Amelio did get one to Whoopi Goldberg, who called about one for her nephew or something. Almost all of them were recalled, however. Amelio shared this story in his book as if he should be proud he got Whoopi Goldberg a broken computer.

Apple still does product placement in certain films and TV shows (not just Apple TV stuff) but tried to keep it on the downlow.



Apple did (and still does) a lot of paid placement. For the first Tom Cruise Mission: Impossible film around that same era, they even did an ad-spot tie in[0], which makes it pretty obvious that the usage of Macs in that movie was paid placement.

[0] https://youtu.be/c2J4Zuiakhk


I also remember in Under Siege II: Dark Territory, where the hero uses his Apple Newton with a modem to send a FAX on a moving train to save the day.

To anyone under 30 reading this: Yes, a fax. Yes, to a kid in the 90s this seemed like the kind of cool-ass tricks that were state of the art then and that I hoped one day would be accessible to me.


Obligatory TVTropes link: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EveryoneOwnsAMac

Mentioned therein: Apple won't allow their products to be used by bad guys. Hence the number of movies and TV shows where you can always tell the bad guy because they're the only person not using an Apple product.


She put the disk in upside down :(


On a related note, could the leader of the team have shutdown a supercomputer by shooting the monitor?


Depending on how it was wired, maybe? A bullet going through the screen is going to create some nasty short circuits.


At the video cable, no. Both sides assume the other side can short to ground or spike or whatever. This is basic circuit protection that you don’t trust the other side.

At the power though, I guess if you shorted the high voltage long enough to pop the breaker and the computer was on the same breaker sure. But this would be tough to do for enough time to pop the breaker I think.


> At the video cable, no. Both sides assume the other side can short to ground or spike or whatever. This is basic circuit protection that you don’t trust the other side.

Unfortunately, this still leaves the software side. I've had computers freeze or crash on me when plugging / unplugging an external monitor, and even one recent case of the EMI generated by the gas piston in my office chair regularly causing my work laptop to bluescreen when there was an external monitor plugged in (with HDMI cable acting as an antenna). This tells me that it's quite possible thar shooting a monitor would cause the computer to freeze or reboot itself.


he just unplugged it he didn't shoot it. It's still a dumb scene though


The scene in question: https://youtu.be/msX4oAXpvUE


Thanks so much, I hadn't seen that before- I'm one of today's 10,000!

The comments were better than I could have hoped for.


Of course. All you need to do is link their minds together like in Pacific Rim. So then it's like one person using four hands on a keyboard to type twice as fast.


You mean a 4 way crimp? It has never been done before Naboo.


Wait, is this how you use the three seashells?


It's ridiculous as portrayed, and doesn't match the visuals, but one could write a combined netstat and top that allowed simultaneous navigation of net connections and process tree with wasd and hjkl respectively. If one were a super hacker.


Could the screen have displayed "hacked" after a hacker successfully broke into a network?


Yes, there are monitoring tools for detecting attacks by looking for things like outgoing transmissions for control


They were using a keyboard driver that treats each half of the keyboard as it's own separate chorded keyboard allowing parallel use. Pretty standard I think you'll find.


They were probably using a MIDI controller with polyphony enabled


This will always be my favorite "whats a compooter" scene


Could be apocryphal, but I swear I read something from the writers on the show saying that they would take turns coming up with the most ridiculous computer interaction they could think of.


The story I heard was that the NCIS writers had an informal competition with CSI writers on who could get the most ridiculous tech shit on screen.


Even at that time: https://dl.acm.org/doi/abs/10.1145/274444.274447 and others. I worked in this area a bit, too, around the same time. It was really interesting stuff then, even if it's rote now.

-----

hah nvm. i didn't think they actually typed on the same keyboard. that's the future, for sure.


Hilarious marketing/blog post on how to overengineer this so it works on gsheets - https://www.nexmo.com/legacy-blog/2019/01/23/how-to-send-sms...

Sadly I can’t seem to find any documentation on the nokia spreadsheet program to see what we could with it.


I have written software for the Nokia 9110 (the predecessor of the 9210) and not being able to find any documentation was par for the course. There was only a forum where sometimes, with a delay of a couple of days, questions would be answered by Nokia engineers.


Zawinski's Law:

Every program attempts to expand until it can read [or send] mail. [or SMS/text messages]

(additions in [] are mine)


The fun thing is when you get your system correctly setup and the mail daemon runs up and delivers your email to you in nethack.

I always thought it would be fun if more games would include thematically correct in universe utilities like this. On second thought I would probably hate it, but it is fun to think about.


MUDs had/have them. LPMuds in particular had ftp and later http servers built in and pioneered intermud which supported instant messaging, as well as in game mail accross servers. at least for messaging clients existed that also allowed communication with players from outside the game. message boards existed too, not sure if there were any shared across serders. i also don't know if there were bridges to smtp or irc too, would not have been hard to build though (there was apparently at least one MUD that forwarded messages from in game message boards to mailing lists, and oh, PSYCH is a messaging platform written in LPC that supports XMPP and i believe IRC too)

it is no surprise that LPC, the language LPMuds are written in served as a basis for the general purpose language Pike. there is a server written in Pike with an internal design similar to MUDs that supports not only http and ftp but also smtp, irc, xmpp and other protocols. i use that for my own websites.


This is hilarious and it resonates with me.


Yeah, this is definitely possible today. A couple of us did it when we were working at Zapier - you could set up a Zap to watch columns of a sheet to act as an inbox and outbox, then hook it up to Twilio to text a pre-determined person.


It's hilarious that the song name is "Dilemma", when this is clearly a dilemma.


Keeping it real, when Weird Al says "I edit Wikipedia", he is editing Wikipedia: https://youtu.be/N9qYF9DZPdw?t=109


At the time Wikipedia didn't have that kind of WYSIWYG editor. So this is a rare case where the passage of time has made the scene more accurate.


Like a true artist.


Hmmm ... I'm not sure this is conclusive.

The manual [0] at p.187 says:

>You can use Word to write new and edit existing text documents. You can insert and view images and other files in the documents. You can also send and receive documents as fax, SMS, mail, PC mail, or via infrared.

So, you can embed, well insert, "other files" in a Word document. You can send and receive a Word document as an SMS ... it seems like Kelly and Nelly might be sending a Sheet inserted in a Word "as" an SMS!??

Another page [1] says you can send "Microsoft Excel 2/3/4/5/7/97/98/2000 XLS, XLC" as an attachment. So, perhaps it's an Excel doc as an attachment to an email? Here's a guy sending a Word doc as an SMS [2], at 7m37 [3] you see the option to attach a "Sheet".

FWIW I suspect this video shot was reached by something along the lines of a director saying "who can make some text show large enough on here for us to read on the video playback?" or an assistant saying "out the box the only way I can enter that text that doesn't show as a Word doc is like this!".

E&OE, apologies ... we need to go deeper!

[0] https://www.tech-insider.org/mobile/research/acrobat/010625.... [1] http://www.allaboutsymbian.com/devices/nokia9210/9210specs.p... [2] https://youtu.be/tr9vqLs5XpI?t=315 [3] https://youtu.be/tr9vqLs5XpI?t=457

For completeness, the "Dilemma" (by Nelly, ft. Kelly Rowland) music video that someone else linked is at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WYHDfJDPDc&t=190s.


> So, you can embed, well insert, "other files" in a Word document.

The point of the article is that it wasn't running Office, but a less featured clone.


Indeed, but Nokia call their app "Word" and it is apparently interoperable with MS Word.

Check out the video I linked of the guy sending a [Nokia 9210] Word document as an SMS.


I find it interesting to listen to pop music from the early days of the web and listen to the references which were new then, but still make sense now

Mousse T vs Hot n Juicy - Horny ‘98 (sent a message through the internet, but it rejected)

Eminem - I’m Back, The Real Slim Shady (Ken Kaniff from the internet, download her audio on MP3)

I’m sure there are more, and like the OP, some references show up in music videos too.


Eiffel 65 - My Console mentions the PlayStation and many PS game franchises that were new back then and are still relevant today.

With German lyrics, there's also

- Das Modul - Kleine Maus

- Blümchen - Herz an Herz (not in the lyrics but some sort of online chat is implied in the music video)


Not pop, but one that I always loved: Billy Talent - Perfect World (control-alt-deleted, reset my memory)

As a young programmer into pop-punk-rock, that reference always put a smile on my face. It stood out so much for me


Afroman - Sell your dope (Sell crack through internet, but not yet)

UGK - The game belongs to me (Pimpin ain't dead, it just moved to the web, Bitch ain't gotta hit the track, ain't gotta give no tricks no head, Ain't gotta give no tricks no pussy, just cameras and screens Easiest money you can get, it's the American Dream)

Another really interesting one though is to see how many songs mention Donald Trump back in 90s/Early 2000s


Rage Against the Machine predicted Donald Trump to become president in the Sleep now in the fire video.


Tom Morello exhibiting his PhD chops so it seems


>Another really interesting one though is to see how many songs mention Donald Trump back in 90s/Early 2000s

I wonder if the same would apply to Ronald Reagan before his presidency?


>Donald Trump

UGK - pocket full of stones (1992)

>Ivana Trump

Kreayshawn - Gucci Gucci (2011)


It's all about the Pentiums, baby


But it would work with word editor right? https://nokia-9210-communicator.helpdoc.net/en/10-office-2/w...

> You can also send and receive documents as fax, SMS, mail, PC mail, or via infrared.

Honestly I would have been much more impressed with the video if she was sending him a fax


This is why we don’t get invited to parties.

I’m on board with it, but this is the reason.


Well, actually, the reason we don't get invited to parties is a lot more involved than that.

If you take, for example, the average...


Fantastic post title. I had to re-read it 3-5 times to make sure I myself was reading correctly — prior to clicking the link.


Agreed, an absolutely capital post title! Myself, I read it 8-10 times.


I can finally sleep soundly


Glad to have been of service.


Can you investigate why when I chirp at people on my Nextel they don’t chirp back?


I've had the same problem trying to squirt songs to people with my Zune


You can call it whatever you want, it's still a crime.


Please tell me that wasn’t the actual verb Zune used to describe sending music to people


https://www.newsweek.com/zune-should-go-beyond-squirting-107...

This was at the height of the RIAA stuff, Zune felt like the legacy recoding industry hired uncool parents to try and design an ipod killer that respected copyright. I belive it also came in brown. Edit: I'm right https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zune_30


I have bad news.



She says Microsoft the same way Richard Stallman says it. Reluctantly accepting that it even exists. It also seems to have ruffled some jimmies here, which I love.


Nobody gonna ask who in their right mind finds it useful to open three rows of a spreadsheet on a phone? Why would they even have that on the device?

If there's one thing iPhone figured out, it was getting actually useful apps on phones instead of imitation desktops.


Maybe she was just drafting the message in a spreadsheet - that would make a lot more sense than using some advanced Excel feature


Working with different businesses I've found that spreadsheets are often used for stuff I would never have thought they would be. Mainly like having large multi paragraph text in the cells, but using the rows and columns to index it. I can see why this is preferred over a linear word style document, there's an opportunity for someone to find a better way that combines spreadsheet like visual referencing with a good UI for entering stuff in the "cells". Excel is awful for this, for example having to remember to press Alt+enter and not being able to scroll smoothly down through cells (so if one cell takes up the screen vertically all you can do is snap to the next). Anyway, drafting a message in a spreadsheet is not that unreasonable or at least not uncommon.


It speaks to both the genius that exists within the design of the spreadsheet digital document format, the effectiveness of excel's implementation (and microsoft's business), and the dismal state of IT empowerment and education that there is nothing you could show me implemented on an excel spreadsheet in a business that would surprise me.

It goes from the obvious stuff like DBs to Hypercard clones to really far out stuff when you get to shared documents.

Excel gets so much wrong but having sampled some of the competition and being proficient in programming at this point of my life I can only admire it and people who go deep.


I continue to maintain that Excel is the single most important piece of software created in the history of humanity by sheer virtue of how much of the world runs on it, whether via intended use case or not.


when I worked at $BANK most traders had reimplemented their own DB using INDEX/MATCH and honestly it is a super powerful model when you get the hang of it. Obviously insane to support "at scale" but it is what it is. #ExcelGangRiseUp


I did a little bit of this supporting when I worked at a bank. Apparently there is multicast networking that you can plug into spreadsheets, so the "output" of a spreadsheet can be used as inputs on other people's workstations and it updates in real time. (I would say this was before Google Docs was a thing, but I don't think it actually was. But Google Docs wasn't widely used anywhere at the time.)

This all blew up one day causing the bank to lose money. My team was supposed to fix it or whatever, because we were the "market data" team. I ended up writing a small program to send a multicast message and record how long it took to come back, and graphed it over time with ... rrdtool! Once the network/transport layer was ruled out as the problem, some trader came back and said it was a bug in their spreadsheet. (This was of course months of early morning conference calls. But having data about the network was a new thing.)

(Oh yeah, someone complained that the author of rrdtool's name appeared on all the charts, so I patched it to not do that. Sorry. Sometimes open source is more about the taking than the giving :( I was young and naive.)


Does that make a lot more sense?


This is the kind of investigative journalism that I come to this site to discover. Bravo!


There used to be a website with tons of examples of this type of “nonsensical” use of computers on TV and in movies. Does anyone know if its still around?



This is what the Internet is for.


Even if she could have, she is checking excel for his reply, which would not arrive there.


Anyone who has ever had to produce some sort of on-screen demo like this knows how miserable, tedious and thankless a task this can be. There was probably a better justification for their choice to use a spreadsheet than we are all imagining!


I once had to do something very quickly on set to get something "interesting" on the screen. It was a macbookpro available, so I opened up Terminal, set it to the green on black Homebrew color scheme, created a while [ 1 -eq 1 ] type loop that did a find . -name * -print type of command. they were supper happy with it since the characters were meant to be trying to find a file. I just said, this is basically how I'd find a file, so they really like the authenticity.

I really enjoed the stories from the advisor for Silicon Valley that went so authentic that the world now has the Not A Hotdog app.


Thank you. Now do CSI. There must be some aggregate of this type of stuff (tumblr RIP)?



Aww, I was having fun reading that until the forced tumblr login prompt blocked the page.

I'm sure they've done the research and run the numbers, but it surprises and saddens me that social media sites have determined they're better off halting user interaction like that than allowing someone to read and become interested in the content.


I am going to migrate off Tumblr. Shouldn't need to login to see stuff I gave them freely. Set up a placeholder site: https://moviecode.xyz/


The tumblr site asks me to log in if I want to continue seeing posts after I get to the Futurama one :-(


Ugh. That sucks. Time to remove then whole thing from Tumblr and make a stand alone site.


Did many people at the time clock this? I think we forget that spreadsheet applications weren't always so commonplace outside of the people in your household that worked with a computer.


I recall seeing that at the time and thinking "ha trying to send a message with a spreadsheet, silly." and moved on with my life.


I still say that her shift key was broken and she was just using the spreadsheet functions to correct the sentence's capitalization.


Insert joke about POST request with csv formdata because JSON wasn't a thing yet.


Tell me you’re autistic without telling me you’re autistic

PS I’m autistic too, no offence intended! :-)


I would be surprised to learn that I'm autistic.



Is this the Sheet that appeared on the Psion5, appearing on Symbian?


I believe that's correct. The Nokia 9210 Communicator used Symbian OS.


Well I'm glad that argument has been solved !


This is a larger scandal than the whole Ariely/Gino thing going on. We need to pay attention to this.


If there was HN gold...


Now this is journalism.


Top article of the day? Really? :)


Reddit refugee here. This post convinced me to sign up.


I'd say this post isn't typical. Check out the guidelines: https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

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