I give you this feedback with respect and to help you become a better writer, because I believe you are capable of substantially more:
This was not a high quality piece of writing. It doesn’t appear as if you spent any time at all learning about the topic, and you did not express yourself well, even when trying to articulate your ignorant points.
If English is not your first language, I totally understand and applaud the effort to learn a second language, but if English is your first language, this is the work product of a child.
You need to put more effort into two main areas to improve your writing: research and structure. I cannot overstate how poorly constructed this post is, and how thoroughly it undermines your effort to make an argument.
You can learn to improve! It’s a skill, like anything else, and your natural curiosity is what drove you this far, but you will need to work at writing if you want to get better at it.
I give you this feedback with respect and to help you become a better internet commenter, because I believe you are capable of substantially more:
This is an incredibly rude and insulting way to give feedback. There is no reading of this that's kind or charitable, don't tell people their work is the "product of a child" and how you "can't overstate how poorly constructed [their] post is".
But, thankfully, you can learn to improve! Try to avoid insulting the author and their work. Instead, just try to offer actionable suggestions on how to improve.
Hi! Yeah I agree that it could’ve been better. Thank you for your feedback, I’m going to try to improve on my writing. And yes, I’m a teenager, so I’m not insulted by that. Thank you for the feedback, I’m going to work on getting better at writing. Thanks for reading and your feedback helps a lot!
This was not a high quality piece of writing. It doesn’t appear as if you spent any time at all learning about the topic, and you did not express yourself well, even when trying to articulate your ignorant points.
If English is not your first language, I totally understand and applaud the effort to learn a second language, but if English is your first language, this is the work product of a child.
You need to put more effort into two main areas to improve your writing: research and structure. I cannot overstate how poorly constructed this post is, and how thoroughly it undermines your effort to make an argument.
You can learn to improve! It’s a skill, like anything else, and your natural curiosity is what drove you this far, but you will need to work at writing if you want to get better at it.