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You bring up good points. And like all good points, they stand off to the side and proclaim nothing -- or atleast not enough that it's easy to refute them. So the only guiding light left is our values -- and what we personally believe.

I do not have notions of excellence, pride, discipline, respect, mastery, craft, grit, or anything of higher substance inside of me. At one point in my life, I'm sure I did, but they have been beaten out of me. Some have been taken advantage of by the ulterior motives of others; and some have simply not been conducive to achieving my goals (i.e. having fun, putting bread on the table, not ending up in the streets, living a leisurely and relaxed life, etc.).

In another vein, one could make the argument that the precarious thing is to tie one's intrinsic motivations -- those little devils inside of us -- onto a "job." That job will one day end, and you will have to find another as an effective outlet for those little devils; otherwise depression and all sorts of psychological illness will start encroaching. If one wishes to keep one's values strong, why make them dependent on uncontrollable things? Unless you are independently wealthy (if that is the case, I can offer nothing), there will be times you will be required to make sacrifice of your values to "get the job done." You will have to be sloppy, amateur, lazy, selfish, and maybe even villainous to do what needs to be done. At that point, you can hold strong and suffer the consequences, or you can relent, tell yourself you are temporarily setting aside higher ideals (it never is temporary), get the job done... and suffer the consequences.

Tying your soul, your essence to such a thing is precarious. Putting your heart into things that will require you to abdicate your integrity is foolish. You will end up hurt, broken, and missing pieces of yourself. It is better, and more sustainable, to save that sort of thing to matters that aren't directly related to your survival. Otherwise, to charge steadfastly into what one knows will be suffering is noble, but foolish.




I think I'm falling for you.


This is a really helpful reply. Thank you. Some thoughts:

Excellence is not in contrast to fun, leisure, and relaxation; it's made that way via Capitalism and hustle culture.

> In another vein, one could make the argument that the precarious thing is to tie one's intrinsic motivations -- those little devils inside of us -- onto a "job."

Well said. I suppose it does take more energy, effort and soul really, to constantly decouple one's job from identity and worth. That one's internal values _ought_ to permeate through one's life "authentically" is certainly easier said than done.

Thanks again for responding in earnest. I'm convinced lol.




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