> being in a situation that reminds you of your lack sometimes creates that desire, which creates that delta.
> we can sometimes control the amount of desire we have by avoiding triggers that remind us.
This makes me think of Instagram/Snapchat and notably the stories feature. If you are having a fine time on your own at home on a Friday night and then open someone’s story that shows them with a few other people having fun, it can create a sense of missing out and trigger loneliness, when in fact, you weren’t feeling particularly lonely right before that event.
It begs the question, why are you on those sites if they make you feel that way? I've only ever been on FB for like 6 months a long time ago, and I noticed this immediately. I don't need to be bombarbed with the life highlights of hundreds of people at the same time. Even if you have a great life yourself, that will give you FOMO, jealousy, and similar feelings at some point. It's human nature. Let alone if you're going through a rough time.
I have social groups that meet up occasionally that only exist on snapchat. I've deleted it before but end up having so little social connection that it falls below my desired amount and I get really lonely. So I install snapchat again so I can interact and get included in groups and plans and then the demon app works to exclusively show me unattainable levels of exciting social interactions and beautiful places and people until it raises my desired social interaction above what I'm getting from it and keeps it in an impossible range. It's honestly terrible. I know how bad all the stories are but it's almost impossible to stop. I say this as someone who meditates and has very strict exercise and diet and study habits. But these apps are designed and created with billions of dollars to defeat almost anyone so how could a single person possible win?
If I leave, it's not enough. If I stay, it's not enough. And before you ask, the groups do not exist on texting. I've tried it and just ended up not being around again. College is like that these days.
> we can sometimes control the amount of desire we have by avoiding triggers that remind us.
This makes me think of Instagram/Snapchat and notably the stories feature. If you are having a fine time on your own at home on a Friday night and then open someone’s story that shows them with a few other people having fun, it can create a sense of missing out and trigger loneliness, when in fact, you weren’t feeling particularly lonely right before that event.