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> well what matters is, what it means to you

When giving advice on a public forum, it is very important to have similar understanding of words as others.




sure, but this is not about the definition of toxic, which is pretty clear and i don't think there is any disagreement about that. the point is that different things are toxic to different people. someone may not be bothered by guns, even when they don't care about them, and someone else may find any support of guns utterly despicable because maybe any mention of them triggers some kind of trauma they experienced. ok, so maybe it's not right to call this toxic, but that's why i used the term "uncomfortable' myself, and i don't think the specific difference is important. just possibly it could be argued that 'toxic' is to narrow. you want to avoid these people either way.


> this is not about the definition of toxic, which is pretty clear and i don't think there is any disagreement about that

Ok, then, can you explain to me what exactly it means?

Because the rest of your comment kinda boils down to "it means whatever you want it to mean" which renders it effectively meaningless.


the rest of your comment kinda boils down to "it means whatever you want it to mean"

no, it doesn't. i am not talking about the definition of "toxic". i am talking about what is toxic to you or to me. if something is toxic to me, then that doesn't mean it has to be toxic for you. i admit, my original statement was confusing. i didn't mean to say that it matters how toxic is defined, but: "what matters is, what is toxic or hurtful to you"

the definition of toxic (or my definition, if you prefer) is that toxic is anything that continuously hurts a relationship.

again, what is hurtful to me is not the same thing as what may be hurtful to you. we all have different vulnerabilities, and are bothered or hurt by different things.


The definition of toxic matters, because finding completely normal behaviors as hurtful might be indicative of a disorder in need of treatment.




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