The worst feeling in the world is being a bit lonely, and then being by yourself in a place where you are surrounded by groups of people. I got more depressed more often trying to go do social things in uni than I ever did physically being separated from others and actually by myself.
It was this type of setting that showed me the huge difference between being lonely and being alone. I'm rarely lonely when I'm alone. Thankfully I have long since engaged in social activities and have a great social life now, but even still that feeling is just below the surface. I went to the club with two girls the other night and when they both went to the bathroom together I was by myself in a club and even though I knew it was just for a few moments that old feeling was right there again. We are indeed social creatures.
Yeah, I’ve noticed this recently. As I spend more time with my current friend group in the new city I live in, the worse I feel because it seems like we’re just surface level friends, whereas when I spend time with my friends back home it greatly lifts my spirits because it’s a genuine connection.
It’s a an extremely odd feeling because from the outside I’m sure it looks like I have a great social life and good friends, but I’ve never felt more alone in my life. And I’m not sure how to address this conundrum, on one hand I want a stronger friendship with this new group of friends and don’t want to be alone, but at the same time it seems as if I would be happier if I disconnected myself from the group and was actually alone.
