The phenomenon you describe has gone down two different paths for two different sets of people. In my world, most straight men I bother to associate with are not afraid of showing emotion or admitting to non-masculine traits/experiences or being called gay. I assumed, hopefully, that this was the path the entire country was going down, in terms of male-male relationships. But it seems that has not been the case, and a different segment - one that I don't interact with much - has doubled-down on defining themselves with traditional masculinity and continue to suffer through the whole universe of insecurities that comes with.
Oddly, a lot of “traditional masculinity” actually involves close male friendships. I think the husband/wife as best friends thing is a relatively new development, and the “neo-heteronormativity” of being a “wife guy” or “ride or die girl” is relatively new - see boomer humor that revolves around multiple types of relationship/friendship, wherein a night out with the boys/girls is sacrosanct and the desire to wall off your partners social life to “only people I also want to hang out with” is seen as controlling or gross.
