You are assuming that my social experiences are shallow. They are not.
You know that sex is not exclusive to intimacy. Do you know that intimacy is not exclusive to sex?
I have found the right person many times. I don't stop when I find them. That's like putting all of your investment into one stock.
Maybe you did win the lottery. That's great! Should I be expecting the same experience? I don't.
> Casual sex especially can be deceiving if one person is using that as a vehicle for emotional investment and the other isn't. That's how people get deeply hurt.
That's what a lot of marriages are. The only resolution to this situation is communication.
Why is that communication difficult? We have a strong social expectation for exclusive romantic commitment. To pursue non-committed romance is to break that social expectation. It's difficult, but not impossible.
We would all be better off without that expectation. If people felt free to pursue casual relationships, they would be more likely to self-select away from the dating pool of serious-commitment seekers.
Instead, we have people being dishonest and subversive about their relationship goals, because they feel it is the only way to fulfill their need for sex and intimacy. They end up in a relationship with someone who depends on their commitment, but that very commitment is a lie: a lie told to the other person, and often even to themselves.
You know that sex is not exclusive to intimacy. Do you know that intimacy is not exclusive to sex?
I have found the right person many times. I don't stop when I find them. That's like putting all of your investment into one stock.
Maybe you did win the lottery. That's great! Should I be expecting the same experience? I don't.
> Casual sex especially can be deceiving if one person is using that as a vehicle for emotional investment and the other isn't. That's how people get deeply hurt.
That's what a lot of marriages are. The only resolution to this situation is communication.
Why is that communication difficult? We have a strong social expectation for exclusive romantic commitment. To pursue non-committed romance is to break that social expectation. It's difficult, but not impossible.
We would all be better off without that expectation. If people felt free to pursue casual relationships, they would be more likely to self-select away from the dating pool of serious-commitment seekers.
Instead, we have people being dishonest and subversive about their relationship goals, because they feel it is the only way to fulfill their need for sex and intimacy. They end up in a relationship with someone who depends on their commitment, but that very commitment is a lie: a lie told to the other person, and often even to themselves.