Interesting - I do about the same thing (Minus the Antivirus.... that could be your big pig there), with 8 gigs of physical ram, and I have paging (swapping?) disabled.... and I've never had a "not enough memory" crash or whatever. With vmware going, iTunes, Xcode building stuff, skpye, dropbox, item, mail, a few browsers, a bunch of tools..... a video going maybe on the second monitor. On a mid-2009 mbp.