> Them being morally in the wrong on the detail of slavery doesn't mean they were just making stuff up about the North being "aggressive" and trying to interfere.
This is where I believe you have cause-and-effect entirely backwards (and for good reason): the Lost Cause factions of the South made up all the stuff about the North being "aggressive" after the War, when at every stage of the war it was the seceding states doing all the "aggression".
They were unhappy with the results of the Lincoln-Douglas debates and the election results of President Lincoln. That wasn't "aggression" in any way, shape, or form, that was democracy in action.
They were unhappy with what they saw of the federal government failing to enforce the "Fugitive Slave Acts". "Not policing" isn't an "aggressive" action, it's a lack of action or possibly a failure of action. It might be considered "passive aggression", but even most school children understand the different between passive-aggression and real "aggression".
The act of emancipation itself wasn't even properly on the table in the North which saw little stake in it either way prior to the Civil War. Lincoln was explicitly anti-emancipation in the Lincoln-Douglas debates and the Emancipation Proclamation only happened after severe casualties and a lot of Southern Aggression (which certainly was not passive-aggression in any way, but the actual aggression of war) during the Civil War and it was clear no compromise was likely to be made by the South.
Here's the deal, I grew up in a border zone of Lost Cause rhetoric and I know exactly how common that idea was made, and how much sympathy those lies have tried to engender for the Southern states. I know how critically deep it is tied into those states' ideas of pride and accomplishment and works to keep them from feeling terrible and guilty all the time in modern society. Wishing to believe the North was the "true" aggressor in the Civil War makes all the moral wrongs of being pro-slavery seem like "lesser crimes" than if those states actually look in the mirror of documented facts and properly recognized that they aggressively started a war for pro-slavery. I sympathize with those that don't want to feel in modern society like they live in a state that was so aggressively pro-slavery to start a war on it. I understand how much it does feel better to believe all the propaganda lies of the Lost Cause narrative. I know that's a large part of why those lies exist.
I don't think you are wrong. I think you are, at worst, misguided. I'm not expecting to convince you that I'm right. I don't expect you trust me at all as a guide towards historic facts, because it definitely sounds like you've made up your mind and don't care to change it. I'm pointing out facts for other kids like me in border zones and other weird pockets of Lost Cause propaganda that don't yet know what to believe because they keep hearing both sides without enough force to show that one side always lies and the other side tells truths so painful people prefer the lies. Both sides aren't equal and it isn't just "opinion versus opinion", and more kids need to know that.
My ex husband and I once argued for three days before realizing we weren't even talking about the same thing. '
Your framing of this and mine are just different. Me understanding why some people in the South see it a certain way is absolutely not bound up with a lot of the stuff you are lumping it in with.
This is where I believe you have cause-and-effect entirely backwards (and for good reason): the Lost Cause factions of the South made up all the stuff about the North being "aggressive" after the War, when at every stage of the war it was the seceding states doing all the "aggression".
They were unhappy with the results of the Lincoln-Douglas debates and the election results of President Lincoln. That wasn't "aggression" in any way, shape, or form, that was democracy in action.
They were unhappy with what they saw of the federal government failing to enforce the "Fugitive Slave Acts". "Not policing" isn't an "aggressive" action, it's a lack of action or possibly a failure of action. It might be considered "passive aggression", but even most school children understand the different between passive-aggression and real "aggression".
The act of emancipation itself wasn't even properly on the table in the North which saw little stake in it either way prior to the Civil War. Lincoln was explicitly anti-emancipation in the Lincoln-Douglas debates and the Emancipation Proclamation only happened after severe casualties and a lot of Southern Aggression (which certainly was not passive-aggression in any way, but the actual aggression of war) during the Civil War and it was clear no compromise was likely to be made by the South.
Here's the deal, I grew up in a border zone of Lost Cause rhetoric and I know exactly how common that idea was made, and how much sympathy those lies have tried to engender for the Southern states. I know how critically deep it is tied into those states' ideas of pride and accomplishment and works to keep them from feeling terrible and guilty all the time in modern society. Wishing to believe the North was the "true" aggressor in the Civil War makes all the moral wrongs of being pro-slavery seem like "lesser crimes" than if those states actually look in the mirror of documented facts and properly recognized that they aggressively started a war for pro-slavery. I sympathize with those that don't want to feel in modern society like they live in a state that was so aggressively pro-slavery to start a war on it. I understand how much it does feel better to believe all the propaganda lies of the Lost Cause narrative. I know that's a large part of why those lies exist.
I don't think you are wrong. I think you are, at worst, misguided. I'm not expecting to convince you that I'm right. I don't expect you trust me at all as a guide towards historic facts, because it definitely sounds like you've made up your mind and don't care to change it. I'm pointing out facts for other kids like me in border zones and other weird pockets of Lost Cause propaganda that don't yet know what to believe because they keep hearing both sides without enough force to show that one side always lies and the other side tells truths so painful people prefer the lies. Both sides aren't equal and it isn't just "opinion versus opinion", and more kids need to know that.