Well, if I can speak for myself, my relationship with my pup has improved my relationship with several humans. And whatever she was engineered for, a simple and stable relationship has been something we’ve built over just shy of four years and still work on.
To the extent there’s any notion of replacing human relationships and to your sibling comment’s point, she didn’t replace parenting a human child for me. That would never have happened, I had already decided that and agreed with my previous partner about that before we adopted pup.
There is one way my relationship with pup has curtailed other human interactions: I don’t want to spend a lot of time with people who find being around pup a nuisance. People who want to enjoy her are very welcome. People who are cautious about unfamiliar dogs are also welcome and they almost always warm up to her immediately. People who want me to exist without consideration of my pup don’t get my time. I have the same expectations for the presence of humans in my life who are important to me and aren’t harming anyone.
> she didn’t replace parenting a human child for me. That would never have happened, I had already decided that and agreed with my previous partner about that
If I read that correctly, you decided with your partner to not ever have kids.
Do you think that decision resulted in some room you had in your life to collectively care for a little creature that returns affection?
- I independently decided I didn’t want human children well before this relationship or even meeting my former partner
- I can’t recall whether former partner told me when they arrived at the same conclusion, but it also predated our relationship.
- Most of the reason for mentioning this was that former partner adopted pup, not me. To wit: there wasn’t any potential (that I can think of) for me subconsciously substituting a pup in place of potential human parenthood.
- Our agreement on the topic was mainly meant to bolster the fact that human child rearing was never in question. There wasn’t anything of that sort to substitute, for me or for the circumstances of my life.
- Without airing more private details than I’d find comfortable, pup came with me when former partner and I amicably parted ways. Despite pup not being “mine” in the strictest sense.
To answer your question more directly: I defer to the original commenter I replied to. The thing what made me make space to care for my pup was having no alternatives. She’s my charge, she’s my responsibility to provide a good life. There aren’t days off and there aren’t excuses.
Even before OP replied stating these things, that’s what I recognized as similar in my parenting responsibilities.
The thing which seems to be bothering a few people is that I expressed feeling a similar bond to my pup that people feel with their human children.
I grew up with dogs. My family has had dogs I’ve known and loved since. Some I’ve bonded with more than others, some not so much. My relationship with my pup has developed different from that.
Being really blunt: for everything else I love about her, a part of the reason we’ve bonded so well is because I didn’t get to choose. That’s the thing that felt similar to OP’s comment about how parenting a human child changed their life. I had a new life where a whole living creature was my responsibility and mine to provide both basic and emotional needs.
Now if this is still unsatisfactory as far as why I made that connection, maybe I’ve failed you… or maybe, like another sibling commenter said, you want to project things onto what I’ve said that aren’t there. Either way, I gotta feed my pup and give her a good fun play or three. So that’s all I’ve got.
To the extent there’s any notion of replacing human relationships and to your sibling comment’s point, she didn’t replace parenting a human child for me. That would never have happened, I had already decided that and agreed with my previous partner about that before we adopted pup.
There is one way my relationship with pup has curtailed other human interactions: I don’t want to spend a lot of time with people who find being around pup a nuisance. People who want to enjoy her are very welcome. People who are cautious about unfamiliar dogs are also welcome and they almost always warm up to her immediately. People who want me to exist without consideration of my pup don’t get my time. I have the same expectations for the presence of humans in my life who are important to me and aren’t harming anyone.