This works for me in most scenarios. I always assume things won't go my way. Makes my life easier, less unexpected/unwanted surprises.

It does make me less social though, since I automatically assume people don't want anything to do with me and I won't initiate any contact, even in cases it's likely not true. This would have been a problem if it mattered a lot to me.

> I assume I will NOT get the job

I apply that philosophy as much as I can. I get good results. But from time to time I get excited about some prospect of a job (or anything else) and thinking that doesn't feel so good.

I counter that feeling by assuming that the job will probably not be that great in the end. It tempers my expectations. My gf would do this a lot, she'd get so excited for a possible job but then when she got it she got brought back to reality, and many times ended up hating it. Yet every time she's optimisitic.

I'd rather just say "It's a job, I might like it for a while, it might have some big benefits, but even if I really enjoy it it won't fix everything in my life".

This allows me to be excited but not overly so.

Interviewers really appreciate honesty and if they don't it's a flag. My last interview for the current role I am in, I was confident as I knew I could do what they expected of me. They asked me if I knew a certain automation deployment tool, I just replied nope and that was it, no follow up 'I am sure I could learn it blah, blah blah'. The interviewer just made a kind, sure, OK shrug and I was offered the role a week later.

That's probably easy enough if you're just job shopping while still working, but if you're out of money and need a job pretty urgently I don't imagine that'd be so easy to do...

It’s a developed skill. When I was freelancing, I was at times pretty pressed to get that project or take on this client.

I forced myself to never beg, always be willing to walk away, accept that I might not get the gig and generally try to not let the other party know of my desperation. It worked wonders on my confidence in negotiations and kept me from taking bad deals that would have prevented me from getting better ones.

I’m be no means saying that is easy. It really is not, but it is something that can be learned.

Drinking, or using substance, to control your emotions is a dangerous path to go down. It let me to develop a habit that I luckily were able to break before it turned into a bigger problem.

If I was desperate I wouldn't say those things. I'd go out of my way to say "If you just give me a chance I promise I'll kill it, nights, weekends, whatever it takes".

I have been desperate before but I wasn't aloof. This is just the tactic I use when it's not life or death.

This may work for somebody who has an anxiety disorder, but that's not what the OP is talking about. He's basically talking about stage fright. It's a physiological reaction to "performing".

It's hard to say what his actual issue is. A lot of the reason performing has a physiological reaction is because you are afraid of failing, or afraid of looking dumb. If you get more comfortable with failing and looking dumb than your stress will go down.

I used to be deathly afraid of public speaking. But I assume I'll bomb (though I usually don't) and I'm okay with that. It's fine, people make mistakes. Now I don't have an issue with it. You still have some adrenaline so you can perform well but you don't have the dread.