> Yes, a statistician I hired calculated a "p" of zero
A lower p-value is generally better for the hypothesis, but a zero means you probably need a better statistician.
Just like a higher value for annual profit is generally better for your business, but if the accountant you hired says its ∞, you probably need a better accountant.
I am not trying to prove Astrology. As a matter of fact, I am trying to prove that Astrology is bunk. However, the results are intriguing.