"Hey! Yeah we actually have a 4 week 'bootcamp' that all our new hires swe go through that covers some of the basics of the technology we use, like (name xyz tech), and how we do sprint planning yada yada. You'll also complete a small project with your 'bootcamp' partners in week 4 before being onboarded to your new team."
That is probably the best that I've seen.
Also at a smaller company something like:
"The first week all new hires go through insert specific industry training so you have a good understanding of the lingo and terminology we use here. This will also help you understand our business better and how your work impacts that. After that you will be paired with a mentor, separate from your actual manager, who can help answer any questions as the get up and running."
Even if all of that is nonsense and a waste of time it shows that a company cares and is trying and thinking about onboarding and training. Most companies are not, or at least are not in any formalized way.
That is probably the best that I've seen.
Also at a smaller company something like:
"The first week all new hires go through insert specific industry training so you have a good understanding of the lingo and terminology we use here. This will also help you understand our business better and how your work impacts that. After that you will be paired with a mentor, separate from your actual manager, who can help answer any questions as the get up and running."
Even if all of that is nonsense and a waste of time it shows that a company cares and is trying and thinking about onboarding and training. Most companies are not, or at least are not in any formalized way.