One problem I see with many many parents, usually the smarter ones, is desperate need to have 100% control. To know 100% what to do, how to react, understand everything. Failure rate should be 0%, since then you are a failure as parent, human and so on. Like parenthood is some github project that can always have 100% test coverage and predictable behavior.
The concept of 'science doesnt know yet', 'everybody is unique so this may not be valid for your child' is a sign of incompetence from the doctor, so they just keep searching for one that will sound more confident.
In all this, emotions take the steering wheel. And emotions only are bad advice giver in any topic.
What you describe is something we with my wife have known and heard continuously from every doctor ever involved with our children. Dont stress out if its behind average curve in this or that. Sometimes they behave completely out of boundaries. If they sleep more/less so be it, there is a reason for that and no I can't tell you what it is.
I get the emotion of wanting the best and normal for a child damn too well, but real chaotic life happens and some folks cant grok that. One can see it in this thread so damn well - people having their pet theories, ignoring current science level, being damn sure their opinions are the correct ones. Instead of patiently admitting that we dont know yet, there are some theories and some findings but thats it.
The concept of 'science doesnt know yet', 'everybody is unique so this may not be valid for your child' is a sign of incompetence from the doctor, so they just keep searching for one that will sound more confident.
In all this, emotions take the steering wheel. And emotions only are bad advice giver in any topic.
What you describe is something we with my wife have known and heard continuously from every doctor ever involved with our children. Dont stress out if its behind average curve in this or that. Sometimes they behave completely out of boundaries. If they sleep more/less so be it, there is a reason for that and no I can't tell you what it is.
I get the emotion of wanting the best and normal for a child damn too well, but real chaotic life happens and some folks cant grok that. One can see it in this thread so damn well - people having their pet theories, ignoring current science level, being damn sure their opinions are the correct ones. Instead of patiently admitting that we dont know yet, there are some theories and some findings but thats it.