Being in a relationship opens yourself up to a huge amount of financial risk which can last a very long time after the breakup/divorce. In most countries you are exposed to this risk even if you don't marry as you automatically enter a de facto which is pretty legally similar to a full marriage.
This all made sense when you had a man working and a woman at home looking after the house and kids, but in a modern society where both work and responsibilities are mostly shared, it doesn't make sense that the person who earned the most is now at huge risk despite the relationship not reducing the others earning potential in any way. This risk is a real discouragement to even enter a relationship. You might be open to the emotional risk of things not working out but not be willing to put your house and future income on the line.
If that's your outlook on marriage you shouldn't marry in the first place, divorce laws or not, as it is a long term commitment with, of course, risks involved.
> In most countries you are exposed to this risk even if you don't marry as you automatically enter a de facto which is pretty legally similar to a full marriage.
From only being in a relationship or from living together, spending together, having kids together? I'm pretty sure there is no such thing in the EU country I reside in.
Relationships aren't for everyone, especially when thinking about relationships like a business
I believe a well-orchestrated prenup, perhaps in combination with some structure of legal trusts, can (mostly) mitigate this. You can firewall assets and nix alimony. And then move to Texas for the cap on child support orders, which really matters [0]. The only exposure you're left with is being liable for attorney fees, but hopefully Texas has some standard to preclude those from becoming unconscionable.
A lot of people complain this is the wrong way to view marriage. That's only true if you're on relatively equal financial footing with your spouse. Any successful person has the right to structure their marriage such that there is no compelling financial incentive for their spouse to divorce them (and that too on top of a base divorce rate of ~50%). Only a fool would do anything short of make their marriage bulletproof in a situation of unusual spousal wealth asymmetry [1].
Actually this a problem that most acutely affects a wealth demo in the vicinity of senior software engineer in tech. It's a far more dire and painful outcome if your $2-4M in assets get chopped in half plus owe alimony and child support than if you're Bezos or Gates and hold onto many billions. In fact, any divorce of the super rich in which the wealthy spouse is left with more than say ~$20M is acceptable in an absolute sense (still comfortably financially free).
The beauty of the divorce racket is that victims usually don't understand the enormity of the financial pain involved until it's too late. Anyone who's observed a friend go through such a divorce would be wise enough to not make that mistake.
As for moving to Texas, you can choose not to and just accept that a judge may order unconscionable amounts of child support to vindictively undermine your prenup (this is routine in states like California). I'm not making the recommendation to go to Texas lightly. The divorce game has gone through many rounds of evolution over many decades and is now almost perfectly calibrated to deprive the successful of their wealth.
Personally, I'd rather just live in Austin. It's a fine city.
I also don't believe in rolling the dice on marriage without protection. It's way too irrational to assume you'll beat the 1 in 2 odds.
Dead wrong. Almost no one thinks they need a prenup at the time of marriage, because they fail to project forward on a long enough timeline. Relationships can morph dramatically within 2 years, let alone 10, 20, etc. Yours is the illogic that has resulted in financial devastation for many a sorry soul.
Not dead wrong, if you're marrying for tax/insurance benefits and think you need a prenup you probably shouldn't be getting married. Marriage is first, and foremost, a religious thing and if you're going into it thinking "this is going to fail and my partner is going to try and screw me over" you simply shouldn't be getting married.
Employed spouses don't get alimony. There can be child support. Even where alimony exists, they tend to be time limited and awarded only when marriage was long.
The alimony issue happens when you look for stay at home wife have stay at home wife for yours and that marriage breaks. Incidentally, those women tend to be more afraid to leave even if marriage is bad while employed women are more likely to initiate divorce - cause they are more confident of their ability to be single.
