I love watching Google's attempts to unify/create/destroy messaging platforms, seeing them compete as if they are competitors on an episode of Takeshi's Castle.
After the article and this entire comment section, this mental image that you're drawing here caused me to fully break down. I mean I pinched a nerve in my back the other day (I feel it every time I breath), so now I'm more or less literally dying here laughing. Thank you! :)