While lots of us are nosy enough to want to know, the answer is that it isn't any of our business. If she wants to say, she will... presumably after she gets out of the hospital.
OMG EVERYBODY THAN KYOU SO MUCH MY FRIEND IS SAFE!!!
[everybody: YAY! Gald to hear it - what happened!]
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS YOU NOSY JERKS!
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Yeah screw that. People will feel less inclined to assist - because they feel that they are an excluded outsider. If you are not told the outcome/reason for the situation in the first place - you are then further removed from the person/situation in question. Thus, you will have less emotional tie with the situation. Without any emotional tie - you will not help situations like this in the future.
The call for help is highly emotional "Our friend, and trusted colleague, who is a great and nice person is missing" -- you feel compassion here, as you would hate togo missing yourself - and you know how great you are as a person. So, you'll assist in this case through empathy.
Take that empathy away, and it gets worse for everyone.
First, I don't work for Technorati. I didn't call for help but I'm glad the community responded.
Second, I have enough empathy and imagination to think about how she might be feeling... and in none of the circumstances I can imagine does anyone owe you, random community member, anything more than the exact "Thank you! She's safe!" you mentioned above. I can get my empathy fix just fine from that.
My point was that this only will work for so long... you make calls to the community for help, people provide that help based on their empathy. If you take away any and all emotional payment for what you receive - people will be desensitized to such requests and will not respond.
It doesn't help that the requests for help were made to sites like HN where the demographics of those sites tend to consist of information-curious people.
Yes. And empathetic yet rational beings can then remind themselves that they have no right and no need to have the information, and can quietly let it pass.
Some won't ask. We can't control the world, but we can influence this community. And I think it would be nice if people here chose to be empathetic and rational human beings.
You believe in a world governed by profit and financial transactions.
The real world is not like that.
Once invited to join a tribe by requesting assistance for someone, others who have joined that tribe by becoming concerned and investing time into worry and concern are not expecting to be paid, they are merely wanting to know what happened to the person they have been ASKED to care about.
It is exceptionally cynical and economically oriented to cast requested concern for a fellow human into something it is not.
You are taking the word "paid" over-literally. I put it in quotes for a reason.
"wanting to know" without also having the ability to help and without the other party appreciating your concern (i.e. it's not a personal communication) is not "concern for a fellow human" - it's curiosity. There isn't anything wrong with that, but don't make it out to be nobler than it is.
You are ascribing nefarious intent to people motivated by concern and empathy for the welfare of a fellow human being, whom they were specifically requested to care about.
I find such projection malicious in itself and unwarranted.
I hadn't thought of that, but I think you have a valid point. I remember being asked to help save a dehydrated kitten. From that point, being asked, forward, I was committed to concern for the kitten's welfare.
It is human nature that once you ask for help you are asking others to be concerned. It is not reasonable then to not expect others to continue to be emotionally invested and concerned.
This is somewhat poorly stated, but a valid point. I'd phrase it as someone is being asked to behave as if someone were a personal friend, then asked to instantly stop behaving as if a personal friend. That's jarring.
