More wisdom:

Get money.

Fuck bitches.

Smoke trees.

Stay true.

(The above is not any less condescending or meaningless than the content of the OP)

As the comments point out, the OP is a parody of the essay and subsequent 1999 hit song "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)". As such, it's filled with a mix of "universal" truths, quirky suggestions, and well-meaning advice -- surely intended to be taken only half-seriously.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wear_Sunscreen

http://www.davidpbrown.co.uk/poetry/mary-schmich.html

Wow, I never expected to see a parody of the Sunscreen Marketing Board sketch. And it's all good advice, no less.

date posted: Nov 25 1999