Whatever inspiration can come from confronting one's own mortality, I'm all for it, but keep in mind, if you're not on your deathbed, you probably have rent due next month.
I had a near miss with illness six years ago, spent some fun time getting my affairs in order. At the same time, a close friend went from fine to a withered corpse in six weeks from aggressive cancer.
I decided to throw everything to the wind, bugger the consequences, as my worst and best realisation was that my own impending doom filled me with relief at the prospect of release from my grinding existence.
I still don’t quite know what was cause and effect, as my illness was spontaneous multiple organ failure for no good reason anyone could discern - but I resolved that if I lived, it would be to live, not to endure decades more of living death - and not long after that resolution, I improved, and found myself discharged, and incredibly grateful for the absolute basics of human existence - senses, mobility, possibility.
So yeah. I had rent due the next month, but I decided to go live in a cabin in the woods instead. It’s six years now. The sky didn’t fall - in fact, I have never been so content, or so healthy - and on a way, I did die in 2016 - at any rate, the person I had been for the preceding 32 years did.
Anyway. I ramble. My point was mainly that facing the mortality of someone close to you, or yourself, can have dramatic effects.
I’m still here. I have work to do. Got a lot done, since.
Whether or not it’s real, it’s a good story. I have known folks that have had similar stories. Last summer, I (and a bunch of friends) sat with an old buddy as he “pulled the plug,” and died from renal failure. It was sad, but it was also an Honor to have been part of it.
That's quite the story! Fantastic to see you be able to turn your life around like that, some of what you wrote is eerily familiar to me, food for thought.
