I think a big part of it is having a supportive and understanding environment growing up that helps you foster the empathy in a healthy way, while teaching you to build and maintain your own self boundaries at the same time.
If you didn't have that, it can be very difficult to change it as an adult.
Many traits that are seen as desirable can wreak havoc on the lives of those who possess them. We envy those traits when we see them in others because we do not have access to their visceral experience, and lack awareness of their inner turmoil and struggles.
I think it important for all of us to extend ourselves grace. Living ain’t easy and we are often doing better at it than we think :)
If you didn't have that, it can be very difficult to change it as an adult.