I have no practical experience with OH, so cannot comment on the 1st point. However if I only want to set and forget, then the rest is pretty much irrelevant. I'd say HA is great for people who like to tinker and have a lot of time (and don't mind fixing broken things constantly).
Has HA broken without being touched for you? In my experience, as long as I don't touch it, it keeps on chugging along (with a notable exception for the recent winter-time bug).
Doing upgrades means things might break, but that is kind of understandable for such a extremely active project. ~10 new issues, ~25 merged PR's, ~4 new PR's per day for the last month.
I wish there was some way to better decouple the new things from the core though, hopefully they will figure something out so we can have stability without opting out of new features completely.
