I left a large Silicon Valley company for some of the reasons you mentioned and knew I shouldn't work anywhere like it again. It's just not a fit for me the way it is for others.
Smaller companies have a more diverse range of cultures. Maybe you got unlucky once, but it might not happen again. It's hard to know what the culture will really be like based on interviews, but learn what's most important to you and make a point of researching or asking about that as you interview. You are interviewing them as well.
And there are also small companies out there that aren't startups.
That is true. I've seen some people quite happy working at small companies that did not have good experiences at big companies. Perhaps I just had a bad experience.
As you said, I need to interview them and make very clear that I want to work hard and contribute, but I need autonomy and no micro-management. Let's see if I can find any company that works like that.
Smaller companies have a more diverse range of cultures. Maybe you got unlucky once, but it might not happen again. It's hard to know what the culture will really be like based on interviews, but learn what's most important to you and make a point of researching or asking about that as you interview. You are interviewing them as well.
And there are also small companies out there that aren't startups.