I found a good balance by starting with a preschool that had a proper teacher but also parent involvement as part of the curriculum. In public elementary I volunteered whenever I could (field trips and occasional classroom assistance) as well as after-school activities. By late middle school and high school I could step back and volunteered in support roles that didn't involve much student interaction but still supported his interests (PTA, Band Booster Leadership).

Obviously, every kid has different needs and every parent has limits on how much they can be present during school hours but putting kids in traditional public school doesn't have to be a passive experience of surrender to the state.