Lol @ me who received a rejection letter 2 weeks ago, and haven't been able to pull myself up again. I know it's on me and my mental health, but I just wish there was a silver bullet that I could get hit with that can stop me from taking rejections so hard.
6 years ago I got rejected from every grad school program I applied for, and also couldn't find a job in the industry I wanted (biotech). After a very long 2 years of unemployment or low wage jobs I threw my hands up and became an English teacher in China. Was the best experience of my life and I was way more employable when I came back, partly because of the experience and partly that I made an app for my students when I was there. You'll find a way for it to work out; the hardest part is managing your own emotions, but you're far from alone in your situation.
I can relate and I was actually doing the same thing about 9years ago. I was more lucky as I had a job in biotech and wanted to go back to grad school but got rejection after rejection. I was so frustrated that I took anything (Bad PhD lab not the topic I wanted etc) and ended up hating grad school. Left it - for good. Studied another topic (tech) went down a different career path. Today I am more than happy and get chased weekly by headhunters.
My take away: It is a journey. Don’t be affraid to push for what you believe in and I can say that as I applied to more than 500jobs in the last 10 years… But I am now down to narrowing a handful applications with nearly 80-90percent success rate (Sr Manager and Director level positions).
For me, it wasn’t getting better at taking rejection, but quitting putting emotional investment into job applications (or whatever else) on the front end. Quit fantasizing about how great the work/your coworkers/the comp will be and just treat it like the roll of the dice it is.
I got rejected by my dream company a few weeks ago. Seeing the rejection letter first thing that morning crushed me.
I was at a friend’s place that morning and I excused myself to go home in the afternoon. They understood that I needed time alone. While at home, I tried to not distract myself with any kind of work.
While surfing through YouTube, I stopped, switched off the TV and just stayed with myself for a few moments. Tears ensued. I started grieving the loss just like one would grieve any other.
10 minutes later, I felt much better. A day later, I didn’t think about it nearly as much.
Find out how you like to grieve and make yourself the space to do so. It helps immeasurably. Lightens the burden.
Not academia, but of the 40 job applications I've sent out in the last couple months, 7 rejected me outright, 4 moved to interviews, and all of those have ended in rejections or ghosting. Finding the energy to keep going every day is hard enough, not to mention maintaining self-worth and happiness.
I got a physical rejection letter in the mail some years ago, many months after the application. I couldn't believe any organization would waste somebody's time to print out a form letter, stuff an envelope, and mail it when they could notify me over email. I consider these bullets dodged because there's more organizational anachronisms you don't want to deal with as an employee.
The first time you smash your thumb with the hammer you curse out loud, put ice on it, watch the blood darken under your nail and suck air in every time you try to curl it after.
The fourth or fifth time, you cuss when it happens, shake your hand off and keep at it.
By the tenth time, you start using a pair of pliers to hold the nail in place.
