Wait a minute. Shouldn't the goal of the defender be to make it clear to the attacker that they would incur losses that outweigh possible wins for the attacker, thereby making the attack a lose-lose scenario? This is only possible if the defender makes it credible to the potential attacker that they will defend their country even when the costs would be extremely high and they cannot possibly win the conflict. In other words, at least from deterrence point of view it's not about winning, it's about making sure the attacker would overall lose more than gain (which is not the same as winning against the attacker).