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>Yikes. Plus, my understanding is that > 10 means no minimum security camp and > 20 means no low security, so she would start off in medium security. - assuming it works the same way with woman as with men)

I'm curious where you got that understanding. Would you mind sharing?

Especially since that could put the khibosh on my retirement plans (commit a serious, but non-violent federal crime and receive a lengthy -- hopefully the rest of my life -- sentence at a minimum security "Club Fed"[0] facility).

Free housing, food, health care and clothes with no tax liability for the rest of my life? It makes me want to to massively defraud some congress-critters once I turn 70 or so.

Assuming I could be assured of conviction, I'd even hold on to the stolen money so it could be returned to the victims.

Yes, I'm being somewhat facetious. But decent assisted living facilities run from USD6-12k/month and once I've spent all my money, it's off to a Medicaid facility that isn't much better than minimum security prisons anyway.

This way, I can give my money to those I care about and not have to worry about spending down my life savings to ~USD2,000 in order to qualify for crappy accommodations at a facility that accepts Medicaid patients.

Just sayin'.

[0] https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/reliable-source/wp/2015/...



> Free housing, food, health care ...

Shitty housing, unhealthy, often poorly prepared food, and frequently inadequate health care... when it isn't denied outright.

Being a prisoner in the USA, especially an elderly one, is terrible and shouldn't be joked about.

But being elderly and relying solely on Medicaid also sucks.


>But being elderly and relying solely on Medicaid also sucks.

Agreed, but most US citizens who have worked at least a few years during their lives will get Medicare, too, which is significantly better.


Prisoners are more likely than the elderly to riot if their food is bad.


Elderly are one of the most reliable voting blocs, whereas I’d argue most folks looking at long federal sentences are likely already convicted of at least one felony charge, thus stripping them of their rights to vote in nearly all states, at least while incarcerated.

If war is politics by other means, I suppose a prison riot is democracy by other means.


[flagged]


If you’re going to make really bad jokes, you may want to grow a backbone.


>If you’re going to make really bad jokes, you may want to grow a backbone.

As a vertebrate, I take umbrage with that characterization.


That's nicely written.


A better alternative to a retirement home is to retire to a cruise ship. It’s actually a lot more affordable than many retirement homes and far more luxurious, entertaining, and with way better food. You also get the benefit of being able to take day trips in various ports of call and of course you get full housekeeping services like any other cruise passenger.


There's no-one on a cruise ship to wash you and take you to the toilet. And there are no hospitals to take you to when you have a stroke




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