Does that apply to things you 'have' to do as well?
I don't really like shopping for groceries, but I'd rather do that, than order take out that's expensive and probably not very healthy.
If I'm going to cook something, I'd rather cook something with a different taste than eat pasta again.
I don't really want to do laundry, but I do want to have clean clothes that don't smell.
If I could afford to do so I wouldn't work, but until I retire that's not possible, so I might as well make the most of it and increase my earnings/time ratio.
I don't really want to go see my family, but I feel I have a duty to do so.
Does that apply to things you 'have' to do as well?
For some folks: This is the reason for a shower becoming a monumental victory in one's day: Sometimes just getting out of bed is a struggle for folks. I'm in a few cooking subreddits, and often get folks looking for "depression food": Food that takes no effort (cooking at all can be too much effort) yet is still a bit healthy. At this point, you probably aren't enjoying food anyway. I've known someone that literally bought new underwear because laundry was the more difficult option.
Not everyone has all of this, and folks are pretty good at hiding it from others and putting on a happy face.
I have seen a person so depressed they didn't even care to get out of bed to have a bowel movement. They just stayed there in it until someone else came to clean it all up.
Yes. Depending on the severity of the depression, a depressed person might have problems with even basic things as brushing teeth and showering regularly and being able to do household chores.
Yes, that's how symptoms generally work. Symptoms are signs that may or may not point toward a diagnosis. A diagnosis such as depression is something separate that is determined from the collection of symptoms on an individual by a doctor.
I'm not a doctor, but from what I've heard and seen: many depressed people manage to put up a good facade.
(Of course, that doesn't mean that putting up a facade means that you are depressed.
Also going out and doing stuff is probably better for you than sitting at home, no matter if you are depressed or not. And if that drive to make you go grocery shopping or meet people is less than healthy, that's still better than losing all motivation for everything, I guess?)
I just wanted to follow up on this as well. I also have my groceries delivered because grocery shopping is incredibly overwhelming for me and I suffer from several mental disorders. Something that I have learned is part of learning to live with mental disorder is giving yourself the grace that even if you can force yourself to do something that is very hard on you it is totally valid to find a hack to help you out(like getting your groceries delivered). This might sound like a no brainer for a neurotypical person but allowing myself access to tools to alleviate stress was seriously difficult for a long time because I felt like to be a "healthy" person I had to force myself to do things for myself that I thought "normal" people did. I forced myself to do things that were actively destructive to my mental wellness in part as punishment to myself for not being neurotypical.
Have you tried a delivery service? Walmart as an example charges $100 or so a year. And then you pay a tip to the delivery person. I think it's worth it to avoid shopping in person, and cheaper than ordering delivery from restaurants.
My wife suffers from agoraphobia and is autistic. We (honestly: she, as she arranges it) do something similar, but we don't live in a country with tipping culture, so its a flat 100 EUR or so (you can also pay per delivery then the price fluctuates, a decent way to evaluate). Sure, it has cons. Sometimes stuff isn't fresh (report, and get your money back), or the expiration date doesn't suit our planning. Sometimes stuff isn't available or its not included. But it really does help, especially if you have difficulty leaving the house for any reason (we got little kids as well). I also find covid-19 a good reason to not go to the grocery store. However, you miss out on the fresh air and increase lack of movement. Get your little children out, for example to the local playground. A dog can help with that, too. And finally, have a buffer storage esp. with regards to non-perishables, just ensure your house or apartment can deal with the extra storage (e.g. we got an American fridge/freezer).
I used to feel the same. What I found was that thinking of chores as a "duty" made it into a something I wanted to avoid. Instead, making these into a fun "mission" turned it into a positive thing I look forward to. Something about adding a good sound track, makes all the difference.
Some examples
- Going groceries. Used to hate it. Stressful. Too many people, I'd get social anxiety. Now, I smoke some weed, put on Michael Jackson on my headphones, cruise through the store with a smile on my face and a dance in my step. They say Mediterranean cuisine is one of the healthiest diets. OK. So I bought the best Turkish cookbook (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0714878154/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b...), and decided this is my new food bible. "Good luck, me! You're gonna need to figure out Eggplant." I've been eating grape-leaf wrapped rice, humus, pita bread, and that kind of thing all week - have never felt healthier. The recipes are easier than you think, and are good for leftovers, meaning you can food-prep and still eat healthily.
Laundry - You might laugh, but I find that on the days where I imagine I'm going to go on a hot date (LOL one day), or meet an important client, or honestly - when I feel most badass (and comfortable!), those days - cool stuff happens. I make a cool connection, have a good conversation, experience something different... So, doing laundry has been a positive way to ensure that my favorite shirts/outfits remain ready for duty, instead of uselessly in a basket.
Work - I was in a bad work situation a couple years back. Failing in-place, in slow motion. I tried to be honest during a review with ny boss, and listed all the things I felt I needed to work on (honestly, coming clean on what I was failing at). My boss took me aside and told me, "Why not get better at what you're already good at, rather than improving on what you're not". It kinda blew my mind... I honestly took a look at one of those "find your dream career" Ven diagrams. What is the intersection of your Passion, What You're Good at, What People Pay for (https://www.authentic.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/pros...). I broke the seal, asked my friends, "Hey. I'm looking to make some career changes, and could use the perspective. You know me. What do you come to me for?" I was surprised what kind of great answers I got. I'm quite self critical, so hearing this type of feedback was very encouraging.
I find t fulfilling to identify the people in my life whom I truly admire, learn about their life goals, and help them achieve them. It's a really great feeling, and leads to getting to know your friends at such a different level.
Family - Lately, I have been calling my grandmother on the phone. She's 95. I asked her, what gets you up in the morning? Without missing a beat, she told me: "Music." She loves Singing, playing piano, dancing. I decided to learn to make music. I'm not going crazy with it, but I bought a MIDI keyboard, plugged it into Garageband, and have been learning chords to songs I like, taking lessons. I'm telling you - it's such a wonderful soul feeling. I've since found out that many of my family members - some I had "written off" - are into so music. We've truly been able to connect in ways that excite us both. One of my cousins, we've gone from a "I see you once a decade" to the the true feeling of "family"- sharing each other's cool songs we've discovered, favorite bands & albums, to even video clips of our playing music attempts, telling stories, etc. If you haven't given it a try before, piano is pretty fun & easy to pick up (Trust me, I never in a million years believed I could play any instrument). Now I can sit down at a piano and kinda play something that at least makes MY ears smile :) Check it out if you haven't. Thanks for listening to my Ted talk...
I am the same way. My depression isn’t severe enough that I CANT do the things that need to be done, but rather, they take immense effort and personal discipline.
Of course everyone (even non depressed people) sometimes struggle to do things they have to do, but don’t want to do. It’s all about how severe that struggle is, not whether or not that struggle exists at all.
I don't really like shopping for groceries, but I'd rather do that, than order take out that's expensive and probably not very healthy.
If I'm going to cook something, I'd rather cook something with a different taste than eat pasta again.
I don't really want to do laundry, but I do want to have clean clothes that don't smell.
If I could afford to do so I wouldn't work, but until I retire that's not possible, so I might as well make the most of it and increase my earnings/time ratio.
I don't really want to go see my family, but I feel I have a duty to do so.