As someone that was on medication that made me think about comitting suicide regularly, and I've learned to cope and overcome it somewhat...I thought I could read this...but this was like stepping into another reality where I was gone and this was about me. :S :S. and now I'm sitting at my desk bawling my eyes out...just wanting to hold my son and never let him go.
I watched the movie Real Steel starring Hugh Jackman and started to cry at the end. That's when I realized I was depressed, in a real low place. Because that movie is... not good and shouldn't have touched me in any way.
That's also when I found out that crying to shitty movies is so liberating and cathartic and good for me. Crying is good for you. It only takes a minute. Afterwards, I always felt more alive than I did before.
Just as the sibling post did, I hope this message is not out of line and that it reaches you in a good way.
There is no reason what so ever to think that tomorrow will be just like today. Here's to hoping that you also see that.
Thank you, and I like the idea of watching a dumb but harmless movie to kinda forget about things for a couple hours. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to do that. Thank you.
These are just suggestions, but what if you just told yourself, "hey, world, I need a break".
I know it's hard to find time for yourself. But what if you did it at night? Your wife and kid, they're both asleep and you've already decided, tomorrow is going to be a sick day, this is my time, and so you put on Real Steel and just become immersed?
After that, watch another one. Or a whole series on Netflix. Turn that day upside down. Then, when you wake up, you'll feel like a different person.
It's rare to find these thoughtful and sincerely kind threads on the internet these days, but this thread, the one you started, really touched me. HN is truly a wonderful and magnificent place in this wide cosmos of ones and zeroes. Thank you a lot, rubyist5eva, for being such a valuable member of the community and for starting this immensely valuable thread. What you did isn't easy, sharing one's own low points in life, but you did so anyway and made a lot of peoples day! Thank you for being you, keep at it and allow yourself a break now and then. You got this.
I'm guilty of the odd shitpost or troll, or forgetting that there is an actual person with feelings on the other side of a heated internet argument - but this thread gave me pause and kind let me re-center myself. Something that's been difficult given the circumstances of the passed two years.
I had my son right before the pandemic. Caring for my new son during Toronto lockdowns in a tiny apartment was pure hell. He is the one thing keeping me going (and my wonderful wife, of course). My one hope is that we can put COVID-19 behind us soon enough so that he has no real memories of it and can live somewhat of a normal life. I want him to be able to meet people in public and see faces without masks. I want him to play with children his age and make friends in the neighbourhood and have sleepovers and playdates. I want to bring him to the toy store and urban playground without ridiculous rules about distancing. What is "normal" going to be post-COVID-19 even? Questions about the future and overall uncertainty keeps me up at night.
I ended up buying a house in my hometown. I work permanently remote now. It's a healthcare company, so it's very busy, stressful, often chaotic - but it is rewarding work and I feel like I am making my own small difference in the world.
My wife wrote a letter to my son about out life during the pandemic yesterday. We will give it to him one day when he is old enough. It made me think that I should create an email address on my server that is specifically for him and write him letters like this so that he can know what life was like and everything he went through. I just want to do everything I can to do right by him. I pray that he will forgive me for any mistakes I may have made while trying to keep him safe during this pandemic.
It means a lot that HN has been so kind to me. It's hard to find kindness these days. People are afraid, angry, in completed despair...but kindness is what we need. Thank you.
My healthcare provider wanted to switch me from stimulants for my ADHD to an off-label use of an antidepressant which listed suicidal thoughts as it’s most frequent side effect. As a father of two young kids I NOPED out of that real quick. I had to stop reading the TFA because I kept thinking “this could have been me” and spiking my anxiety.
I did, but I have to pay an obscene amount of money for an out of network doctor :/
What was worst about the whole experience was that my HMO didn’t want to switch me for my benefit, but because prescribing a scheduled substance was inconvenient for them. Too much paperwork or something? The system is not built to protect patient interests.
