Thinking about it more, there's something similar to leaving the Matrix I think about leaving a subculture you were deeply involved in. It becomes hard(er) to willingly submerge yourself in another one once you spend some time at the "surface" level. You have to keep working to sustain your suspension of disbelief or risk snapping out into a crushing awareness of the subculture's arbitrariness and insignificance. But the "main" culture (if it's even not just another subculture, anyway) is so goddamn ugly and bland