After some very long bouts of self reflection, I've found that I have 4 primary emotional needs: social connection, satisfaction derived from accomplishment, breadth of information to learn, and excitation (something that gets my heard pumping and the adrenaline flowing).
Most things in my life that I occupy my free time with can meet those needs, art and music fill the first three, programming meets the middle two, but only gaming fills the 'excited' factor. I have yet to find any other activity that isn't dangerous which gives me the same rush as winning a game of dota2 or overwatch (or what have you). What's more, games not only fulfill my need for excitement, they also fulfill -all- of the aforementioned needs to a decent degree. Sure, I won't feel as accomplished finishing a setup in factorio as I would finishing a piece of music, but the difference really isn't all that great. And for breadth of knowledge? Games are designed to be grok-able, whereas many more existential domains are full of hard or nuanced problems. Lastly, (multiplayer) games are just as social as my other life pursuits if not more so.
Guess what I'm saying is that I've had trouble finding a suitable replacement for games, they really can serve as an omni-activity. Despite all that, they still give me a fair portion of guilt when I devote time to them. I can only assume that is my parents' sensibilities which have been ingrained into my conscience. As a result I've quit them multiple times, and the jury's still out as to whether I personally view them as a vice that needs to be severely moderated, but what keeps me coming back is that need for a rush. Nothing else gives it to me in such a balance of low risk / high reward.
Nicely put, and this is exactly what I dislike about video games. Adrenaline pumps, my heart goes crazy, I sweat and grip the controller till my hands turn white, and I feel totally overloaded.
Put me on a mountain bike on a crazy descent, in REAL danger, and those same fears lead me to the highest highs.
Maybe it's just the cadence. I want 5-10 minutes of intense fear focus followed by good long period of relative safety to bask in the conquest, but video games just keep pouring shot after shot of adrenaline.
Not a scientist, but it feels like what I want is endorphins -> adrenaline + endorphins -> endorphins, and what video games gives me is adrenaline + endorphins -> adrenaline + endorphines -> arenaline + endorphins
This sounds very intense and it'd certainly turn me off games. I hope this doesn't read as condescending, but have you considered trying some games that aren't based on that feedback loop? Like grand strategy or management games? Few of the deep games that I engage with for a long time have the cadence you're describing.
Yes I like strategy games but I was responding to the type of game that gets adrenaline flowing. Timing games and shooters. Even old prince of Persia was too much for me :)
Your four emotional needs ring true to me. I’ve also spent a good chunk of time playing video games. Can I suggest trying out mountain biking as an alternative source of adrenaline? IME it’s possible to balance the risk if you stay conscious of what you are doing and confident enough to skip a challenging feature when you’re not feeling it.
Thank you for the recommendation, I'll definitely look into it, I've been trying to find an activity that will get me more outdoors so perhaps biking has what I'm looking for.
Most things in my life that I occupy my free time with can meet those needs, art and music fill the first three, programming meets the middle two, but only gaming fills the 'excited' factor. I have yet to find any other activity that isn't dangerous which gives me the same rush as winning a game of dota2 or overwatch (or what have you). What's more, games not only fulfill my need for excitement, they also fulfill -all- of the aforementioned needs to a decent degree. Sure, I won't feel as accomplished finishing a setup in factorio as I would finishing a piece of music, but the difference really isn't all that great. And for breadth of knowledge? Games are designed to be grok-able, whereas many more existential domains are full of hard or nuanced problems. Lastly, (multiplayer) games are just as social as my other life pursuits if not more so.
Guess what I'm saying is that I've had trouble finding a suitable replacement for games, they really can serve as an omni-activity. Despite all that, they still give me a fair portion of guilt when I devote time to them. I can only assume that is my parents' sensibilities which have been ingrained into my conscience. As a result I've quit them multiple times, and the jury's still out as to whether I personally view them as a vice that needs to be severely moderated, but what keeps me coming back is that need for a rush. Nothing else gives it to me in such a balance of low risk / high reward.