>The prospective bride and bridegroom consider multiple or even dozens of options, and discuss their favorites with their parents or other close relatives.
>If either person finds a major red-flag during this time, they have the (rarely-used) nuclear option of breaking the engagement.
In India, this happens very rarely and mostly among the upper-classes. I'm guessing the Indian couples you know fall in that criteria. In many normal middle-income (or lower-income, by US standards) households, young adults don't even perceive the idea of having a freedom to choose their spouses, let alone dating or courting partners.
> "Arranged marriage" in an Indian context doesn't necessarily imply "parents tell you who to marry".
You're right about this in some cases, but in almost all other cases it also doesn't imply "you can marry whoever you want".
> it also doesn't imply "you can marry whoever you want".
Per my understanding, parents, or their proxies (matchmakers, astrologers, interested close family and friends) source the prospects that their children consider. Which means those potential matches have parental "pre-approval", with things like education, career, and family background already taken into account. From that pre-vetted list, "you can marry whoever you want" is mostly true, from what I've been told. Unless some major red flag comes up during the family meet-and-greet.
It's possible my sample is limited to people from upper-class backgrounds.
>If either person finds a major red-flag during this time, they have the (rarely-used) nuclear option of breaking the engagement.
In India, this happens very rarely and mostly among the upper-classes. I'm guessing the Indian couples you know fall in that criteria. In many normal middle-income (or lower-income, by US standards) households, young adults don't even perceive the idea of having a freedom to choose their spouses, let alone dating or courting partners.
> "Arranged marriage" in an Indian context doesn't necessarily imply "parents tell you who to marry".
You're right about this in some cases, but in almost all other cases it also doesn't imply "you can marry whoever you want".