I experienced something really similar a few years back. Lengthy post, but a topic close to me these days.
I had, a couple of years previously, changed job and had the opportunity to do a complete retake on a traditional business from a tech perspective.
Incredibly motivated and excited - spent my days talking to teams and management and nights coding and building things.
This is not in the US, and I had no pressure at all from management mind you - I just really enjoyed it and we made amazing progress.
Couldn’t wait til the family was asleep so I could start hacking away, often to 3 or 4 AM.
This went on for about a year, and I thought I had the best job, team and most fun ever in my career.
One day going home from work I could feel a spring in my brain let go, much as described in this tweet - the whole world stated to spin and I found myself leaning against a car in the lot not to collapse.
Weird... wth... ok, let’s see if it was just an issue or if we have a problem.
A couple of days later I’m in a conference room to do a demo. Someone throws me the keyboard and as I start to write everything seems to slow down and my fingers are moving in slow motion.
I try many times to type my password - impossible. I try to speak - just slurring.
From this point on whatever is going on start to manifest itself on a regular basis. I get a “zing” in my brain, like physical, and loses train of though, words and balance.
Going to work one day my body just stopped, turned around and began walking home. On it’s own! Surreal. I was just taken for the ride back to the bus and home to bed.
At this point I’m starting to feel like “I’m not there”. Like my mind is in the back of my brain and not in front, at my eyes, if you get what I mean. My mind had kind of an out of balance, far back, tunnel vision of everything.
This became the new normal. Really disturbing.
Obviously I started to investigate this. Went through the process with different doctors. Lengthy process.
At some point I get this unbelievable pain in my shoulder, probably because I had started to work out again quite hard. Way inflamed somewhere.
I go to a naprapath to try to sort it out and he investigates my neck - “woha you seem to have massive inflammation in your upper neck”.
He does the naprapath business for 30 min. Boom! I’m back!
I’m “in my eyes” again, almost two years later. No more tunnel vision! W. T. H.
Couple of week later I’m scheduled for a neurologist who examines me. He specifically asks if I’m ok in the neck. I describe the above and he explains that issues in the upper neck can cause all kinds of weird neurological issues.
The MR came back clean as the doctor had figured.
Getting back completely have taken it’s time. A good couple of years, and I’m in general more weary and try to listen for signs.
These days - no coding after hours, exercise regularly and in general a better understanding of my body and mind.
Listen to your body, brain included! Stop clenching that jaw.
Someone close to me, a former Microsoft developer, complained about neck issues for years. Doc said it was probably posture and stress, and this person never went to a specialist.
One day, after about a decade of untreated neck pain, this person collapsed at their desk and went into a coma.
They eventually recovered, sort of, but what they describe is exactly how you feel and Mr. Glucose Depletion in TFA. Pop sound in the brain. Dizziness. Loss of speech and motor control.
The official diagnosis was stroke. The former Microsoft engineer had some kind of collapsed/pinched neck artery and they had a stroke. They are alive and well today, but completely incapable of coding for the rest of their life.
A nearly identical but more severe story as yours and the the author’s.
The neurologist I went to really recommended naprapathy and/or physiotherapy on a regular basis - he was in his 60s and had seen a lot of really weird things over the years.
It’s easy to chalk a burnout down to emotions and stress, and these might very well be the root cause. For me the above, however positive in nature, gave me physiological “blockers”, in a sense.
Had my shoulder not started to act up (bicep it turned out after a couple of months excruciating shoulder pain - a whole story on its own, fixed by sticking a needle straight in to the muscle to force relaxation) I would not have ended up at the naprapath.
A kind of burn-out - but rest and mindfulness on it’s own would not have been enough to get me back.
I had, a couple of years previously, changed job and had the opportunity to do a complete retake on a traditional business from a tech perspective.
Incredibly motivated and excited - spent my days talking to teams and management and nights coding and building things.
This is not in the US, and I had no pressure at all from management mind you - I just really enjoyed it and we made amazing progress.
Couldn’t wait til the family was asleep so I could start hacking away, often to 3 or 4 AM.
This went on for about a year, and I thought I had the best job, team and most fun ever in my career.
One day going home from work I could feel a spring in my brain let go, much as described in this tweet - the whole world stated to spin and I found myself leaning against a car in the lot not to collapse.
Weird... wth... ok, let’s see if it was just an issue or if we have a problem.
A couple of days later I’m in a conference room to do a demo. Someone throws me the keyboard and as I start to write everything seems to slow down and my fingers are moving in slow motion. I try many times to type my password - impossible. I try to speak - just slurring.
From this point on whatever is going on start to manifest itself on a regular basis. I get a “zing” in my brain, like physical, and loses train of though, words and balance.
Going to work one day my body just stopped, turned around and began walking home. On it’s own! Surreal. I was just taken for the ride back to the bus and home to bed.
At this point I’m starting to feel like “I’m not there”. Like my mind is in the back of my brain and not in front, at my eyes, if you get what I mean. My mind had kind of an out of balance, far back, tunnel vision of everything. This became the new normal. Really disturbing.
Obviously I started to investigate this. Went through the process with different doctors. Lengthy process. At some point I get this unbelievable pain in my shoulder, probably because I had started to work out again quite hard. Way inflamed somewhere.
I go to a naprapath to try to sort it out and he investigates my neck - “woha you seem to have massive inflammation in your upper neck”. He does the naprapath business for 30 min. Boom! I’m back! I’m “in my eyes” again, almost two years later. No more tunnel vision! W. T. H.
Couple of week later I’m scheduled for a neurologist who examines me. He specifically asks if I’m ok in the neck. I describe the above and he explains that issues in the upper neck can cause all kinds of weird neurological issues.
The MR came back clean as the doctor had figured.
Getting back completely have taken it’s time. A good couple of years, and I’m in general more weary and try to listen for signs.
These days - no coding after hours, exercise regularly and in general a better understanding of my body and mind.
Listen to your body, brain included! Stop clenching that jaw.