Bumble is more superficial than Tinder because instead of 2 filtering gates it has 3 and that 3rd gate also removes the opportunity to create attraction through performance or skill.
1. Are you shown to someone you like? Other than paid things like Boost your only lever may be how you swipe.
2. Did they like you back? Good photos and bio actually help here so you have some agency.
3. Are they interested enough to initiate within the time limit? No agency here purely on the basis of sex. "Hi."
The deafening silence of gate 3 removes any chance to move a match from indifferent to interested by being funny, skillful or otherwise interesting. And it dumps even more work on the already most overwhelmed party in dating apps: the woman.
On hetero Bumble, be handsome, be attractive, don't be unattractive.
That "deafening silence" is the entire point of Bumble. It seems really mentally gymnastic to see the women-initiate-conversation-first rule as "dumping even more work on the woman." What is more exhausting:
1. Choosing entirely on one's own terms whether to say "hey" to someone you swiped right on
2. Sifting through literally hundreds of "hey"s from men
Skip the "really mentally gymnastic" contortions and say what you mean.
There's no question that it takes more effort to think of something better than "hey" to say than it does to read that message. And let's not forget that the matched people have both explicitly opted into a conversation.
I thought the entire point of Bumble was to spare women from gross messages and dick pics.
1. Are you shown to someone you like? Other than paid things like Boost your only lever may be how you swipe.
2. Did they like you back? Good photos and bio actually help here so you have some agency.
3. Are they interested enough to initiate within the time limit? No agency here purely on the basis of sex. "Hi."
The deafening silence of gate 3 removes any chance to move a match from indifferent to interested by being funny, skillful or otherwise interesting. And it dumps even more work on the already most overwhelmed party in dating apps: the woman.
On hetero Bumble, be handsome, be attractive, don't be unattractive.