That's a shame, Calculus is a fascinating subject and a basis for many interesting applications. Basically, there are two ways to approach it: to pass your exams (and there are just a couple of rules to learn, it's not that complicated), and to really understand what it's about. If you choose the second approach, you don't even need to memorize any formulas, because you will be able to reconstruct all of them as you need them. Moreover, you won't be conceptually limited to the geometric interpretation (which is invaluavle in giving some intuition in the early phases but might get in your way later).