I'm sorry if I sounded dismissive, I was just impressed by the way the text sounded to Me, as I read it, and figured people might be interested in the data that I collected as I thought made said text sound weird to Me. I have no idea why My comments would not be considered a good critical comment to you the same way I think it looks like to Me. Get My point?
(I never meant to be shallowly dismissive but rather provide good criticism and lament if it sounded otherwise)
I don't really get your point, but it may be relevant that when I edit launch texts for YC startups [1], I tell founders not to refer to themselves by company name. As in: don't say "FooCo lets you bar your baz"—that's a trope of marketing language. Put it some other way, such as "We let you bar your baz". Perhaps that advice is pushing things too far towards "we"? I don't know; I didn't notice it yet, but there must be some reason it triggered an adverse reaction.
[1] and non-YC startups! anyone is welcome to ask for help with this at hn@ycombinator.com, as long as you remember that the worst-case latency for response times may be astonishingly terrible. You can see the advice we give to YC startups here: https://news.ycombinator.com/yli.html. The logistical bits don't apply to non-YC cos, but the communication bits emphatically do.
Substituting "we" for the company name would probably not help at all. The text simply is too personal. This is particularly bad for a company whose goal is likely to provide value with absolute minimal friction—the potential user is primarily looking for something to improve their lives and wants to know what can be done for them. I urge you to highlight all the occurrences of "we" in the text and see how many phrases are meaningful in that regard, and for the ones that are, how most can be simplified by being rewritten as impersonal.
I see Dale Carnegie getting a lot of flak these days but this is one point he illustrates incredibly well in his most famous book in my opinion.
I think you may just have a different stylistic preference from what I understand to work well on HN. I tell the founders explicitly to include themselves personally and include the backstory of how they came to work on this.
