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"k8s works really great for my use case. [..] But I grant you, it has been a very complex, painful journey to get this working right, and in fact I'm still making tweaks and adjustments."

TBO, it does not sound like it's working great for your use-case =) Wouldn't something like Cloud Run, AppEgine Standard or Heroku be much simpler and cheaper? Or just a single $5-15 per month* VM?

* depending on how much oomph you need for those 400 rps




Sadly no because I need stateful RAM. A single VM might work but I'm scared




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