Are you me? I also work in ML and am raising a child in a small seaside town. Your comments are very similar to my experience. I was told going remote and leaving the city was career suicide, but it's been quite the opposite. The amount of assumed travel (pre-covid) was a bummer and often happened at inconvenient times at multiple companies, but I still wouldn't trade it. I never talk about tech outside of work, which is nice, although a little lonely at times. In some ways I think my worldview has broadened by not living in a tech hub anymore. Work-life balance is super healthy, I don't spend as much time in front of screens anymore either. The pros totally outweigh the cons in my opinion.
If you like having ocean, forest, mountain, lake, and city all within close range, and not paying state income or sales taxes, New Hampshire's coastal cities (Portsmouth, et al) are awesome.
Yes, it gets cold, but you don't have to go out in it if you don't want to. You can go from heated space to heated space pretty easily.
The southeast, especially around interstates 93 and 95 are quite populated. It might not look it sometimes due to lots of trees between homes in the older developments, though.
I work remotely and live in a seaside town in Florida. No state income tax, reasonable housing prices and cost of living, biking, boating fishing, golfing, 12 months a year. Many great options in Florida such as St Augustine, Sarasota, Jupiter, Pensacola.
