I have one but I think it's almost baked: https://www.usertrack.net - Self-Hosted Analytics

What I still want to do before calling it truly "ready":

* Add a trial version

* Implement a secondary session recording system

* Improve documentation/onboarding/tutorials

* Add some integrations (data import/export, alerts, weekly digest)

Also, the landing page design is really poor, I should work on that too.