I think your self diagnosis is on point. Where games fit into your life is hard to address within a world of background judgemental thinking and self-criticism. It might be easier to focus on cultivating more self-compassion first, then reexamine your questions above.

I'm not affiliated, but check out the HealthyGamerGG channel on Youtube. He's a Harvard psychiatrist does interviews/counseling streams on twitch that are pretty cool, and deal with a lot of millenial/zoomer gamer mental health issues. Here's one that spoke to me about failure and expectations: https://youtu.be/hzkgIOzBP7w