Sounds like you're not making enough to make living/working there worthwhile. Try a cheaper city. I'm not talking Topeka, but do look at cheaper cities with a tech scene. (I'm a big advocate of Atlanta, and live here, but Austin also works nicely).
Or just get a new job in the same city with better pay.
Edit: Oh, I see you're in the UK. That is quite different. Try pointing that out. The UK has several high cost areas and lower cost areas as well, but I know little about the tech scene.
The solution may be "Dude get's higher paying job"
I earn the going rate for a PHP developer in my area, in a job that I love that's close to where I live. Unfortunately it's a fairly low-paying area, so although I could probably squeeze another couple of grand out of a different employer, that would be eaten up by travelling costs/etc.
If money were the issue here, I'd just go up to 5 days a week.
Yeah, honestly, increasing income, or your hubby stopping some work is probably the better directions. In the states python/ruby web dev pays a bit better than php, so perhaps you could try moving towards that.
My gut says 'Don't buy this house, it's the wrong size for your income/family situation and in a place that doesn't pay well enough for the life you want.'
Or just get a new job in the same city with better pay.
Edit: Oh, I see you're in the UK. That is quite different. Try pointing that out. The UK has several high cost areas and lower cost areas as well, but I know little about the tech scene.
The solution may be "Dude get's higher paying job"