I've personally pondered this a number of times and here is my conclusion that I am comfortable with.
While there is some sense of continuum, there is a difference between being hurt and being injured. In a similar sense I feel there is a continuum of "something" and disabled. I don't really know what to call the "something" end of the disability continuum that would be analogous to "hurt" rather then "injured". For me I'll call it "inconvenienced" but I choose that word for me not to insinuate or inflame others.
Serving in Afghanistan, I was "hurt" on many occasions and "injured" once. That injury left a very visible scar on my face, migraine like headaches and some hearing loss.
Am I disabled? I would say no. I can do everything I have always been able to do. The scar is a conversation starter and the rest is manageable. I view it that I am "inconvenienced" rather than "disabled".
I would say, in general, if you are not sure if you feel you are disabled (even if you have been diagnosed) then I would say you are not.
Again, that is just my view and I don't offer it to be combative or diminish someone else's plight.
My wife appears to be incredibly fit and she is. She's able bodied, thin but not sickly so and strong. She has great muscle definition. Her skin looks healthy. She is often taken for being a decade or more younger than she actually is.
She spends half her week pleading with medical staff or arguing with insurance about why the drugs and procedures shouldn't be denied. Her eyesight is rapidly degenerating. She's has diverticulosis (they told her to lose weight and stop eating meat... she's thin and vegan). A number of her bones have started to fuse and she has acute arthritis in places that seem to show up without warning and were nowhere to be seen on images from less than a year ago. She's im chronic, sometimes debilitating pain. There's no diagnosis and people keep jabbing her with needles based in what appear to be best guesses. She's disabled. She doesn't want a sticker because it's embarrassing and she's worried about people thinking she's abusing the system and vernally (or worse) assaulting her. She'd rather walk the extra distance I'm horrible pain than have to deal with it.
Being "disabled" means lots of things and wears many faces. The stigma sucks.
Sorta sounds like me. I have smooth and young-looking skin, but it's because my collagen is messed up. My joints come apart everywhere in my body, I get woozy from standing or even sitting for long, and I'm developing a host of spinal and nerve problems. I'm expected to need PT, braces and probably more for the rest of my life.
But I can walk, and I look young, so I had a hell of a time getting diagnosed. And I felt really guilty about using a disabled parking pass even though I knew I needed it.
I'm so very sorry for you. It pains me to see her going through this an know it's exponentially worse for her. She can't even hold our toddler and dance with her any more. It's been so long that she doesn't even think to ask. Faddy dances and mommy sings.
That sounds awful. My wife has Stills and went through a similar experience before getting a diagnosis. Has she been seen by a rheumatologist? Her symptoms seem vaguely auto-immune/inflammatory.
She's on her second one. They suspect something auto immune buy all her symptoms are peripherally related to solid indicators. For example, most people might have IBS or chrones but she developed diverticulosis. In the ballpark but not quite right.
Edit: something in the RA realm is what they suspect but it's hard to be conclusive because she has symptoms but no markers.
Not as far as anyone can tell. Everything in her bloodwork comes back perfect. She eats well balanced meals, stays as fit as the pain will let her, doesn't drink much, no drugs that aren't prescriptions because of all this. By all measurements, she's in peak health... you know, except for the debilitating pain, bone fusion, rapid onset arthritis and degenerating vision.
I think that people's perceptions of what it means to feel disabled are so different that your view is wrong. For instance, my mother totally lost the use of one leg as a baby with polio. She has always worn a full supportive brace on that leg from foot to hip so she can stand up and walk (she's never been able to run). She has always said she doesn't "feel disabled", but she checks yes on forms like this because she knows that this is the terminology used to cover things like "I may need extra help evacuating the office in a fire".
The difference between the OP's and your mother's situation is that OP got injured after becoming an adult.
The real difference is that OP could could determine if his current state is a regression from normal.
Your mother's abilities degraded before she could understand what she misses out on.
So being disabled is the norm for her, she does not feel disabled, but when filling out official forms, she has to compare her abilities with her perception of "normal".
So it's not that OP is wrong, he is just in a different situation, they are both right.
While there is some sense of continuum, there is a difference between being hurt and being injured. In a similar sense I feel there is a continuum of "something" and disabled. I don't really know what to call the "something" end of the disability continuum that would be analogous to "hurt" rather then "injured". For me I'll call it "inconvenienced" but I choose that word for me not to insinuate or inflame others.
Serving in Afghanistan, I was "hurt" on many occasions and "injured" once. That injury left a very visible scar on my face, migraine like headaches and some hearing loss.
Am I disabled? I would say no. I can do everything I have always been able to do. The scar is a conversation starter and the rest is manageable. I view it that I am "inconvenienced" rather than "disabled".
I would say, in general, if you are not sure if you feel you are disabled (even if you have been diagnosed) then I would say you are not.
Again, that is just my view and I don't offer it to be combative or diminish someone else's plight.