Genuine question, have you considered using Caddy? With the third party caddy-docker-proxy plugin you get essentially the same benefits of Traefik in that regard, without the frustrations/limitations you've experienced with Traefik.
I didn't know that existed. I skimmed it and it looks like it would be good, but Traefik is working well enough for me that I don't have a reason to change it. To be really honest, I'd have to get some kind of noticeable improvement vs my current setup to make it worth building Caddy to get that plugin.
BTW, I've used Caddy before and I like it. It's the first name that pops into my head when I need a webserver. I mocked out my own plugin to add auth to GitLab pages a couple years ago and remember thinking it (Caddy) was pretty slick.
