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Am I depressed? No. Was I depressed? Maybe. I don't know if I've ever been depressed. But, there was definitely periods in my life where I felt miserable for a long time (6 months to years). During these times-- I was listless, lack motivation, and had typical symptoms for depression. However, it never crossed a threshold where I would call it depression. Mostly because I still felt like I was in control. When I didn't get out of bed for the day, it wasn't because I literally can't. I was just being lazy as shit. Of course, that fueled my sadness for a while because I would think I can fix this, but I'm not. Thus, spirally deeper.

Eventually, I had enough. I decided not be sad anymore. I'll never be Bill Gates, Bruce Lee, or any of my heroes. And, people in the third world can never all the opportunities I have. So, I decided it doesn't matter my situation. There is always some miniscule, tiny thing I can do to improve my situation. I started waking up earlier, journaling more, and stuck to these habits religiously. They became my anchor. Now I'm in a much better place. To everyone who is struggling. I hope you find your better place too.




> When I didn't get out of bed for the day, it wasn't because I literally can't.

If that was what depression looked like, it wouldn't be called "depression". It would be called "disability".




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